G'Day to Die: A Passport to Peril Mystery - By Maddy Hunter Page 0,70

but she buried him in it instead.”

She shook her head glumly. “I’ll just take ’em home and s-sell ’em on eBay.”

“Sell them? You’re going to sell them? How can you sell them? Look at them. They’re ruined!”

“You are sooo out of touch. How do you m-manage to get along in life? You ever heard the saying, ‘One m-man’s trash is another man’s t-treasure’?”

I gave her a hard look. “Don’t you think that’s a little unethical?”

“Have you heard, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me?’”

“Are you ladies all right?” a park ranger called, as he and Etienne trudged toward us.

I flashed him a tentative thumbs-up. Bernice flashed him a boot.

“What am I supposed to do for sh-shoes now? I can’t walk around barefoot. And l-look at me. I’m so c-cold, my knees are knocking together. That water was freezing. I p-probably have hypothermia. I could die at any m-moment!”

Etienne pulled off his shirt and wrapped it around Bernice’s shoulders. “Is that better, Mrs. Zwerg?”

She eyed his naked torso and batted her soggy lashes. “Actually, I’ve heard that body heat is the b-best cure for hypothermia.”

He pressed her hands together and rubbed them like a Boy Scout kindling fire. “How’s that?”

“Not exactly what I had in m-mind, hon, but it’ll do for now.”

I choked back a laugh. Yup. He was destined to be a big hit in the travel industry.

“I’m sorry I didn’t arrive quickeh,” the ranger apologized, as I sluiced water off my goose bumps. “Had some official police business that couldn’t wait, but it looks to be oveh now.”

I froze in place. “Police business? You mean, the police were here? Just now?”

“All the way from Milbourne.”

“Did they arrest someone?”

“Don’t know. Whin the lady cried for hilp, I had to abandon thim.” He slanted a long look toward the boardwalk. “That’s thim leaving agin.”

I craned my neck to see, but glimpsed nothing more than a couple of heads that disappeared beyond the vanishing point.

“One of the blokes had his handcuffs out and looked like he intinded to use thim, so I’m thinking whin you hid back to Adelaide tonight, you’ll be minus one tour gist.”

Yeah, but which one?

Chapter 16

“Diana? Really?” My voice echoed inside the restroom stall as I stuffed my wet tank top and walking shorts into a plastic bag.

“I was shootin’ a picture a Tilly when I seen two men slap cuffs on her and escort her back up the beach,” said Nana. “I was pretty sure that must be the weird thing you warned us about, until Bernice started screamin’, then I was torn.”

“That wasn’t weird,” Tilly scoffed. “That was typical.”

“It was real odd, dear. Diana didn’t put up no fuss at all. Almost seemed like she was expectin’ someone to drag her off.”

I broke out the Seal Bay T-shirt and running shorts I’d just purchased in the gift shop. “Diana,” I repeated. “I knew it was Diana.” Or Roger. Or Conrad. Or Jake. “The police must have discovered evidence that connected her with Claire Bellows’s death. I just wish I knew what. Henry told me yesterday that the police were coming, but he made me swear to keep it under my hat.”

“Do you think Diana was the person who took Marion’s other two Polaroids at Port Campbell?” asked Tilly.

“Took Nana’s Polaroids. Murdered Claire. Performed a cover-up with the angiosperms. Slipped Nora an overdose of drugs. For being on holiday, Diana Squires has been one busy botanist.”

“You s’pose Henry’s gonna explain to everyone why Diana’s went away?”

“He’d better! He owes us some details.” I stepped out of the stall and struck a supermodel pose. “Ta da! Dry again, except for my underwear.”

“I got extra, dear.” Nana opened her pocketbook and unfurled a pair of bloomers the size of a hot-air balloon. “They’re real good ones. Fruit a the Loom. You wanna borrow ’em?”

“Mmm, you might want to offer them to Bernice. I think they’re more her style.”

“She won’t want ’em. She says she’s gonna stay in her wet clothes.”

“Why? I told her the bank would foot the bill if she wanted to buy some dry clothing.”

“If she’s dry, she’d have nothing to complain about,” said Tilly, “which would mean the Apocalypse is here.”

“She talked Henry into lettin’ her switch buses, though,” said Nana. “She’s sayin’ she has to sit next to your young man so he can keep her warm. I don’t wanna be an alarmist, dear, but you better watch out for her. I seen on Access Hollywood where December/May flings