even keep my pistol in my hand with all the rocking, much less get off a perfect shot, and a perfect shot was exactly what was called for because anything less would just piss her off long enough to reach me and shred me like tissue paper.
Then I ran out of time to decide.
The bear hit the van so hard that I thought it was going to topple completely over. It held suspended in midair for what seemed like minutes. I stretched my pinkie finger over, because it was the only thing I could risk moving, trying to get every bit of weight I could shifted to bring the van back down. That whole pinkie thing must have worked because finally, the van left its stationary hold and crashed back down upright.
Unfortunately, Gertie did not make it with the van.
I heard the impact and jerked my head back to see she was gone but had to give her enormous props for not making a sound when she went. Other than hitting the ground, that is, and that one couldn’t be helped. If we all lived through this, I was going to have to tell her just how impressed I was. But I couldn’t linger on top of this carnival ride any longer.
I jumped up, yelling at Ida Belle to cover me then get to the boat, and leaped off the top of the van as far from the bear as I could get without drawing her attention to Gertie, who was on the opposite side from the bear. Mama Bear took one look at me, stood on her hind legs, and roared. If I had not been trained to mock death, I probably would have had a heart attack right on the spot. She was absolutely terrifying.
Since I couldn’t run for the dock without coming too close to the bear, I took off down the driveway to the road. There had been another house about a mile away. I didn’t think I could outrun a bear for a mile but I was about to find out. In any event, I needed to draw her away long enough for Ida Belle and Gertie to get safely to the boat.
I heard a gunshot behind me and glanced back but all I saw was fur and teeth bearing down on me. I cranked up the speed and pulled my pistol from my waist, then I fired over my shoulder. I couldn’t afford to slow down and aim and I really didn’t want to have to kill the bear. But if things came down to me or her, we were going to be calling social services for those cubs. I fired again and glanced back but it hadn’t slowed her one bit. In fact, she was gaining on me. And I didn’t have any more turbo left to crank in.
I heard an engine racing behind me, clearly straining to keep up with its driver’s demands, and a second later, Molly’s van flew past me. The back door swung open and I saw Gertie staring down at me, a tie-down strapped around her waist. Ida Belle hit the brakes, and I dived into the back of the van, did a quick roll, then grabbed the back of the passenger seat as Ida Belle floored it.
The bear had just reached the van and had the door in her giant paws when it launched forward. The sound of twisting and scrunching metal filled the air and with a final roar, the bear ripped the door clean off and then stood there, holding it up like a game show display.
“Got it!” Gertie yelled and triumphantly waved her cell phone.
Then Ida Belle hit a huge hole in the road and the strap that had secured Gertie to the side of the van came loose. She stumbled toward the opening, flinging her phone backward and trying to find something to grab on to. I leaped forward, snagged the strap, and yanked her to the bottom of the van.
She sat up and shook her head. “Do you know how much makeup I’m going to need to cover the bruises on my thighs for the wedding?”
“Wear longer clothes,” Ida Belle said. “No one wants to see your thighs.”
I looked behind us and saw that the bear had managed to ditch the door and was coming after the van again.
“That is one determined bear,” I said. “She’s still coming.”
“We’ve got another problem,” Ida Belle said and started honking the horn.