Game Changer by Kelly Jamieson Page 0,80

have to get my shit together. But right now feels like a low point in my life. I finally found a woman I actually want a relationship with, and I can’t have her. And I found a team I want to stay with, and they don’t want me.

Okay, I’m being pathetic. It’s not that they don’t want me. I know it’s a business. It’s all about the numbers. But it’s hard not to take things personally. I know I’m not in a good frame of mind, and both these deficiencies in my life seem worse because of that.

Maybe. Or maybe they really are shitty.

I need to do what Molly’s doing—move on with my life. Find some other woman to bang. Maybe prepare myself to play elsewhere this year.

Or maybe I’ll just go home and finish getting drunk.

Molly

“I can’t believe I saw Jax the first time I went on a date.”

“I know. That’s a hell of a coincidence.” Grace and I are sitting on her big sectional in her living room. Her fiancé is out tonight.

“Nicholas was a nice guy, but it felt like so much work being with him. I get that we don’t know each other at all and it takes time, so I was going to agree to a second date. But after seeing Jax that night, it only reinforced how bored and uninterested I was in Nicholas. So I turned him down. Which pissed him off.”

“Ugh. Men.”

“I know! I’m getting all kinds of action on Tinder, and not all of it’s good. Holy shit, there are a lot of assholes out there. One guy asked me if that was my real hair or a wig.”

“Oh my God.”

“Right? Another guy sent five cringe-y pickup lines in a row, not getting the hint after I didn’t respond to the first one that I wasn’t interested. Then there was the dude who asked how my head game is.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him he’ll never know.”

Grace laughs.

“And the guy who told me how beautiful I am and begged me to have sex with him.”

“Ugh.”

“Right?” I shake my head. “I really just want to give up on this dating game.”

“What about Andrew?”

Yeesh.

There was another guy on Tinder who seemed okay. Grace and Brielle were supportive and encouraging. I didn’t think it was going to work, but dammit, I was determined to give it a shot.

“His mouth was gross.”

“What?” She stares at me.

“I looked at his mouth and tried to imagine kissing him. I couldn’t.”

I met Andrew for drinks after work one day. Once again, he seemed like a nice guy. He had a good job, he dressed well, he was well spoken. He didn’t get some of my jokes, but maybe that’s something that takes time. I gave it an honest shot and went out with him again. Still turned off.

“What is wrong with me?” I ask Grace. “Why am I not interested in anyone?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.” She sighs. “Maybe we were wrong to push you into dating again. Maybe you need time by yourself to heal.”

“Honestly? I’m healed. I don’t care about Steve.”

“I mean, maybe you need to time to heal from Jax.”

My head jerks around. My mouth falls open. Shit.

For some reason, my throat constricts and my eyes sting.

Jax is…everything. Smart. Funny. Kind and generous. Yes, he’s a little bottled-up, but I think he just needs to feel safe with making himself vulnerable. Also, he’s incredibly attractive.

I think what’s upsetting me is the thought that I need to get over him. That we can’t be together. I drop my head forward, my chin hitting my chest. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

After a moment I lift my head. “There is something wrong with me. Steve didn’t care enough to be faithful or honest. Jax just wanted a sexy fling. I fell for him, but he didn’t fall for me. It’s me. I’m not good enough.”

“Molly, that is not true. You’re amazing. Smart, kind, wonderful with kids. With all people, really. Fun to be with.”

“Thank you.” I try for a wan smile. It’s great to have the support of friends, but deep inside I still feel inadequate. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need time by myself. Not just to heal. But to come to terms with who I am.”

Grace tilts her head. “I know you’ve had a couple of disappointments. But you’ve always been someone who’s comfortable in your own skin. You should take some time, though, and sort out what you really want.”

I feel like I’ve already taken time. It’s