It was just a fucking smoke alarm and he’d lost it.
God, he
“One of my mother’s favorite ways to punish me when I was little was to lock me in the closet after she beat me and leave me there for days at a time,” Grey announced, making him frown. “By the time social services finally stepped in, I couldn’t handle small spaces anymore. I’d lose it every fucking time I thought about going into a closet.”
“What did you do?” Chase asked, willing to do anything to stop this from happening again.
“For a while, I avoided small spaces, thinking that it would help, but it actually made it worse. I couldn’t even handle looking at a closet door or having anyone next to me. It got to the point where I had to give myself a fucking pep talk in order to get into the lunch line at school, but after a while, I couldn’t even do that. I got so sick of it that I started forcing myself to go into my closet. A few seconds at first, but eventually, I was able to sleep in my closet at night. I kept doing it until my terror grew into boredom. The memories are still there, but they’ve lost their hold on me,” Grey said as he sat back in his chair.
The thought of hearing those alarms going off had Chase’s stomach turning, but…
“This stays between us,” Chase said even as he glared down at his clenched hands.
“Of course,” Grey murmured.
Nodding, Chase released a shaky breath and…
“I lied to them,” he admitted.
“What did you tell them?” Grey asked, probably already guessed who he was talking about.
“I told them that everything was going to be okay and that I was going to get them out of there,” he said with a humorless chuckle. “I couldn’t fucking move and I told them that I was going to keep them safe.”
“You gave them comfort, Chase.”
“I couldn’t even fucking give them that!” he snapped, releasing a shuddering breath. “Everything fucking hurt. I couldn’t focus on what they were saying, but I knew that they were screaming for their mother. The building was still crashing down around us when they stopped breathing. I couldn’t do anything more than lay there, wondering when I was going to fucking join them.”
“But you didn’t,” Grey murmured.
“No, I didn’t.”
“What did you think about while you were laying there?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Chase said, shaking his head, refusing to go there.
“Fair enough,” Grey said before adding, “Then why don’t we figure out a way to make this better?”
“I already know what makes this better,” Chase said, sighing heavily as he sat back against his wheelchair and watched as Sloane walked into her room.
“And what’s that?” Grey asked as Chase forced himself to look away.
“Something that I can’t have.”
Chapter 35
She was in over her head, Sloane realized as she watched Chase stare at her patio door, but even knowing that didn’t stop her from sighing in relief when he opened her door and quietly made his way inside.
When he stopped by her side of the bed, she moved to sit up only to stop when he shook his head with a softly murmured, “No,” as he reached over and turned on the lamp by her bed. Worrying her bottom lip, Sloane watched as Chase reached for the sheet covering her and slowly pulled it down. When she went to stop him, he simply ignored her and finished pulling the sheet down until the pale pink marks beneath her breasts were visible.
For a moment, he simply sat there, staring at the marks until all she wanted to do was to pull the sheet back up and tell him that everything was fine, but the look on his face had her laying there, worrying her bottom lip as she waited for him to say something. He reached over and gently ran his fingertips over the pale pink mark that his arm had left behind as his jaw clenched tightly.
He traced the light mark several more times as he leaned over and pressed his lips against her skin. When he was done, Chase sat back up as he quietly said, “Roll over onto your stomach.”
Without a word, Sloane rolled over onto her stomach and laid her head on her folded arms as she watched him. His gaze moved over her back, looking for any marks and when he didn’t find any, he reached into her nightstand and grabbed the small tube of