“Why are you looking up medical certifications?” Chase asked as he continued to absently caress her stomach, having absolutely no idea what he was doing to her.
“I like to keep my options open,” Sloane said as she scrolled through the long list of certification programs that she was more than a little tempted to sign up for.
“I see,” Chase murmured, but since he still didn’t know that she’d taken a leave of absence, she kind of doubted that he did.
She’d been doing this for seven years and she’d hoped to at least make it to ten, but with the way things were going…
Maybe it was time to look into doing something different.
She could stay with the same company and just switch to a local position, doing home visits, but she really wasn’t sure that she wanted to do this anymore. She loved the medical field, loved helping people, but she really wasn’t sure that she wanted to keep doing this. The job was great, the pay was incredible, but as much as she loved to see her patients overcome everything and get their lives back, she hated being there when they hit rock bottom. She hated seeing their pain, hated having to pretend that she didn’t see them suffering, but she hated knowing that sometimes all she could do was sit there and watch them die.
That was why she hadn’t left yet because Sloane knew that once she did, she would have to tell herself that she didn’t care and she didn’t think that she could do it again. She wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore, but she knew that she couldn’t keep doing this anymore.
She also wasn’t sure if she was ready to quit yet.
She’d been hoping that with a little time that she’d be able to figure things out, but with every passing day, the temptation to say the hell with it was becoming stronger. She just wished that she knew what she wanted.
“Tell me why you became a nurse,” Chase suddenly said.
“I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that before,” Sloane mumbled, unable to help but frown.
“Not even your family?” he asked, sending her a curious look.
“Especially not my family. I think they were just happy that I’d finally settled on something,” she admitted with a shrug.
“So, getting screamed at by ungrateful patients wasn’t your lifelong dream?” Chase asked teasingly.
“It’s every girl’s dream,” she said on a wistful sigh, making his lips twitch.
“How did it happen?” Chase asked as Sloane looked around the busy waiting room, noting that every seat was still filled and that there were now three more patients standing off to the side waiting to see the doctor.
“The usual way, I suppose. My parents gave me a choice, college or get a job. Since working forty hours in retail wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time, that really only left me with one choice, waste my parents’ money by enrolling in college while I tried to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life,” Sloane said even as she couldn’t help but wonder if they should try to reschedule this appointment.
“That sounds like a solid plan,” Chase said, chuckling.
“That’s what I thought,” Sloane said, nodding in agreement.
“But your parents didn’t think so,” Chase guessed.
With a sad shake of her head and a sigh, Sloane said, “For some reason, they weren’t happy after they found out that I was still undecided two years later.”
“I can’t imagine why,” he murmured dryly.
“Me neither,” she said, making his lips twitch. “They gave me to the end of the semester to get my act together and figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life or get a job and start paying them back for the two years that I wasted.”
“What did you do?”
“What any level-headed twenty-year-old facing an uncertain future would do, of course. I met a guy,” Sloane said with a sad shake of her head and a heartfelt sigh.
“That sounds ominous,” Chase murmured.
“Doesn’t it, though?” she asked, nodding in agreement.
“What happened?” Chase asked softly as he turned his hand so that he could entwine his fingers with her.
“You mean after the year of my life that I wasted on him only to find out that he wasn’t prince charming?” Sloane asked, still wondering how she could have been so stupid. “I learned a life lesson.”
“Which was?” Chase asked as he gently caressed the