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the kind of smooth perfection only achieved by spending an hour of your life on it with a hair dryer and flat iron.

"You look nice. What's up?"

Her feelings shifted slightly, her irritation with me dimming a little. "I'm meeting Christian soon."

For a few minutes there, it had felt like the old days with Lissa and me. Just us, hanging out and talking. Her mention of Christian, as well as the realization that she'd have to leave me soon for him, stirred up dark feelings in my chest...feelings I had to reluctantly admit were jealousy. Naturally, I didn't let on to that.

"Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place." Christian's element was fire. It was fitting since it was the most destructive one.

Laughing, she turned from the mirror and noticed me gently touching my swollen face with my fingers. Her smile turned kind. "It doesn't look that bad."

"Whatever. I can tell when you're lying, you know. And Dr. Olendzki says it'll be even worse tomorrow." I lay back down on the bed. "There probably isn't enough concealer in the world to cover this, is there? Tasha and I'll have to invest in some Phantom of the Opera-style masks."

She sighed and sat on the bed near me. "Too bad I can't just heal it."

I smiled. "That would be nice."

The compulsion and charisma brought on by spirit were great, but really, healing was her coolest ability. The range of things she could achieve was staggering.

Lissa was also thinking about what spirit could do. "I wish there were some other way to control the spirit ... in a way that still let me use the magic...."

"Yeah," I said. I understood her burning desire to do great things and help people. It radiated off of her. Hell, I would also have liked to have this eye cleared up in an instant rather than days. "I wish there were too."

She sighed again. "And there's more to me than just wishing I could heal and do other stuff with spirit. I also, well, just miss the magic. It's still there; it's just blocked off by the pills. It's burning inside of me. It wants me, and I want it. But there's a wall between us. You just can't imagine it."

"I can, actually."

It was true. Along with having a general sense for her feelings, I could sometimes also "slip into her." It was hard to explain and ever harder to endure. When that happened, I could literally see through her eyes and feel what she experienced. During those times, I was her. Many times, I'd been in her head while she longed for the magic, and I'd felt the burning need she spoke of. She often woke up at night, yearning for the power she could no longer reach.

"Oh yeah," she said ruefully. "I forget about that sometimes."

A sense of bitterness filled her. It wasn't directed at me so much as it was the no-win nature of her situation. Anger sparked inside of her. She didn't like feeling helpless any more than I did. The anger and frustration intensified into something darker and uglier, something I didn't like.

"Hey," I said, touching her arm. "You okay?"

She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them. "I just hate it."

The intensity of her feelings reminded me of our conversation, the one we'd had just before I went to the Badica house. "You still feel like the pills might be weakening?"

"I don't know. A little."

"Is it getting worse?"

She shook her head. "No. I still can't use the magic. I feel closer to it... but it's still blocked off."

"But you still... your moods ..."

"Yeah ... they're acting up. But don't worry," she said, seeing my face. "I'm not seeing things or trying to hurt myself."

"Good." I was glad to hear it but still worried. Even if she still couldn't touch the magic, I didn't like the idea of her mental state slipping again. Desperately, I hoped the situation would just stabilize on its own. "I'm here," I told her softly, holding her gaze. "If anything happens that's weird...you tell me, okay?"

Like that, the dark feelings disappeared within her. As they did, I felt a weird ripple in the bond. I can't explain what it was, but I shuddered from the force. Lissa didn't notice. Her mood perked up again, and she smiled at me.

"Thanks," she said. "I will."

I smiled, happy