Friends with Benefits - Nicole Blanchard Page 0,59

was used to shouldering my burdens alone, but this one was too heavy for me to carry.

We pulled to a stop in the parking garage, and Tripp got out of the car, still humming happily. Meanwhile, dread began to pool in my stomach, causing the hot dog and soda I’d had at the game to churn unpleasantly. Tripp took my hand, and that was it.

The doors to the elevator closed behind us, and the dam broke. I began to cry, silently at first, then full-out sobbing.

Tripp, who’d been in such a cheerful mood, froze, then wrapped his arms around me. The comforting scent of his cologne filled my nose, and even though everything else seemed to make me nauseous, I was thankful this didn’t.

“Hey, what the hell?” He was so bemused that it only made me cry harder. “Okay, angel, I won’t make you go to any more of my games, I promise, but you don’t have to cry.”

“That—that—that’s not it!” I wailed. Keening sounds emitted from my chest, and I tried to stifle them, which only made me cry harder.

“Okay, baby. Let’s get you inside, and then we can talk about it. We have some time before my parents are supposed to bring the twins back home.”

Oh, God. How was I supposed to support three kids? This was madness. I was barely keeping the twins and me afloat. How would we survive with another life thrown into the mix? I’d have to take off school. I wouldn’t be able to work for a while. Tripp was supposed to have his big break this year. He couldn’t do that with the weight of me and the girls around his neck. And now a baby. What in the hell had I been thinking?

Sex was never simple.

Relationships were never simple.

Life as a whole was complicated and messy and unexpected. Nothing about mine had ever gone to plan, no matter how much I tried to make it fit. I had wanted to go to college after high school but had only done my EMT certification. I had wanted to get married and have a family the normal way, but Chris had dumped all over that. I had wanted to make a good life for the girls and me, and now I’d ruined that.

I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with Tripp, too, but I wasn’t sure it would survive this.

The thought only made me cry harder. It didn’t faze him, though. Apparently, these months with us had made him immune to female tears. Poor guy. I was sure this wasn’t what he had signed up for.

Friends with benefits…that was the arrangement.

Sex without complications.

It was now a whole lot more complicated than either of us could have imagined.

While I freaked out internally, Tripp led me to my apartment, unlocked it, and shuffled me to the couch. It only made my cry harder. He was too nice to me. Too understanding. He was going to take this so well, and it would only make me feel worse.

I wanted him to scream and rage at me. Treat me like crap. Because that’s what I felt I deserved. A baby would take away his choices and his future because he wouldn’t see it any other way. He was a good guy, as evidenced by how amazing he’d been throughout everything.

He brought me a glass of tea, and I gulped it down to soothe my raw throat. When I was done, he passed me a handful of crumpled tissues. Not caring how I looked—or maybe I was just comfortable with him after everything—I blew my nose and dried my face.

“Feel better?” he asked.

Not at all. I made a noncommittal noise, wiped my nose again, and pulled up my big girl panties. I wasn’t going to cry anymore, and I wasn’t going to continue with the woe-is-me bullshit. I had made the choice to have sex, and this was one of the potential eventualities. I was an adult. I would have to deal with it like one.

“Tripp,” my voice petered out, and I took another sip of tea to steady myself and come up with the words to say. How did one go about potentially changing someone’s life forever? “Tripp, I don’t know how to tell you this, and I just want you to know before I go on how much you mean to me. I couldn’t have been through this without you. I hope you understand that.”

He nodded and relaxed into the couch, making sure to tuck me