Friends and Strangers - J. Courtney Sullivan Page 0,42
and Sam and Clive took Freddy and Sophie to the toy store and out for dinner. Unlike many other people in their families, the children had no judgment about Sam and Clive as a couple. He was so good with them. Sam could easily picture a whole, happy life with him in those moments.
“I’m going to tape these up first thing,” she said. “Let’s FaceTime them tomorrow, yeah?”
“Sure thing, babe,” he said.
Sam fell asleep soon after, more content than she’d been in weeks.
* * *
—
She awoke the next morning to the unmistakable sound of someone trying to be quiet. She heard drawers open and shut and opened her eyes to see Isabella, rifling around in her dresser.
“Sorry!” she whispered. “I’ll be out in a sec. Trying to find my headphones. You haven’t seen them, have you?”
“No,” Sam said. She pulled the comforter over Clive’s bare back.
Of course, she knew that Isabella would need access to the room sometimes, but still she was annoyed—headphones hardly seemed essential.
“How was the first night?” Isabella said, whispering, but loudly. A stage whisper.
“Good. How was yours?”
“The usual. Lexi split a bottle of Goldschläger with some frat boy and ended up puking these beautiful gold flakes.”
“Hmm,” Sam said.
Clive stirred beside her.
She willed him to stay asleep. But instead he woke up fully and said, “Hello there.”
“Hiya,” Isabella said. “Welcome to America!”
“Thanks.”
They had spent very little time together in London. A week after Sam arrived for the summer, Isabella went home. Isabella and Clive had never quite clicked, but they tried to be nice to each other for her sake.
Clive reached his arm down to the floor and scooped up his boxer briefs, then shimmied into them under the covers.
Sam felt like there was something indecent about it. She wished Isabella had knocked before coming in, or that Clive would have had the good sense to pretend to be asleep until she left.
When he stood and said, “I’ll just pop to the loo,” Sam blurted out, “Wear pants!”
He gave her a funny look. “Did you think I was going to go wandering pantsless down the hall?”
Clive found his jeans and T-shirt from the night before slung over a chair. He put them on and left the room, whistling.
Isabella said, “He’s got a really good body for an old guy.”
Sam threw a pillow at her.
She was totally naked under the comforter. She held it up to her chin. Her friends here were all so casual about nudity. Isabella would spend entire mornings sitting around in just panties and a bra, like some man’s fantasy of what a college girl did in her spare time.
“Should I wait for you two for breakfast?” Isabella said.
“No,” Sam said quickly, deciding on the spot that there was no way she was taking him into the dining hall if she could help it.
Isabella shrugged. “Okay, see you later.”
For a moment, Sam was alone. She looked out the window, down at the cars whizzing along Main Street. She felt certain that every one of those drivers had themselves figured out in a way she never would. How was it possible to be happy with someone one minute, and mortified the next? To feel at once like a woman, and like a stupid kid? Would it ever get better?
Yes, she reminded herself. When she was no longer living here, in this in-between place. When they could be together again for real.
When Clive came back, she said, “I was thinking breakfast in bed could be fun.”
“Mmm,” he said, nodding approvingly.
“I’ll go down to the dining hall and get us each a plate. You want a bagel? Eggs? French toast? Potatoes? Bacon?”
“All of the above,” he said. “But first, there’s something else I’d like to do in your bed.”
“Oh,” Sam said. She pushed the comforter onto the floor. “By all means. Have at it.”
* * *
—
Over the course of the weekend that followed, Sam thought often of a line from one of Gil’s picture books: The walls became the world all around.
They never left her room. They spent Saturday and Sunday in bed, with hardly any clothes on, just talking and watching movies on TV and touching at all times, as if to make up for the days and weeks they’d been forced to spend apart.
They ordered Chinese delivery on Saturday night. Otherwise, Sam went to the dining hall at mealtimes, before it got crowded, and filled a Tupperware with enough food for them both.