off his jacket before I could answer and threw it around my shoulders in a halo of his cologne. I had to fight to keep my face neutral. The jacket was warm from his body, like it was him wrapped around me.
“Thanks,” I said. “I’m sorry this happened. You have work tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll be okay.” He rubbed my arms over the jacket, trying to warm me.
He never touched me, and now he’d touched me twice in a matter of minutes, like some unspoken boundary had dissolved.
I wished he would slip his arms around me. He looked like the kind of man who gave great hugs. Bear hugs. The kind that enveloped you.
For a second I wanted to ask him if I could hug him. I bet he wouldn’t say no. But I’d already played with enough fire for one day, and that would be crossing a line.
The foot rub had been crossing a line.
But God, I wanted the hug. I wanted it so badly the pull toward him felt physical, like the ocean dragging against your ankles when the tide pulls back.
But I had to maintain boundaries. For so many reasons—Tyler being the least of them.
Josh nodded to the car. “I’m having it towed to a shop by your house so we can get a ride with him and then just walk the rest of the way home.”
The tow truck guy spoke over the sound of clinking chains. “You kids are gonna have to lap sit. I got my dog with me.”
My eyes flicked to Josh’s, and I shook my head quickly. “No. I can’t sit on your lap.”
The words were coming out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying. But I couldn’t. I really couldn’t. If I sat on his lap, the temptation would catapult me. “I’ll look for an Uber.”
I started punching into my phone, opening the Uber app.
“What? Are you serious?” he asked.
“Yeah. We don’t fit in there, so no choice.”
He made an impatient noise. “Look, I’ve gotta be at work in a few hours. I’m still an hour from getting home if I leave right now. Can we just do this?”
I shook my head, staring at my phone. I got an Uber. Then the driver immediately canceled the trip. Fuck! It was the area. Nobody wanted to come to this part of downtown this late. It was too dangerous. “Then go. I’ll be fine here. I’ll call a cab.”
Josh’s eyes bored into me. I could feel them, but I didn’t dare look up.
“Kristen, we’re practically in Skid Row. I’m not leaving you here. If you stay, I stay. And if you make me stay, you’re making me lose sleep.”
I looked up at him, my eyes pleading. “I can’t sit on your lap,” I said again. I didn’t bother with an excuse. I didn’t like to lie. Let him think this was about Tyler.
He raked a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “I don’t get this, Kristen. You’re way too practical for this. We have a ride. He’s here. Now. We’ll be at your house in fifteen minutes. I don’t care if you sit on my damn lap.”
“I’ve got a boyfriend.” Not an excuse. Not a lie. Completely factual.
“Well, I’m not going to tell him this story if you’re not. Let’s go.” He started for the door of the tow truck, his tone final.
It was wrong. It was wrong because how much I wanted it made it wrong. A fifteen-minute ride sitting on Josh’s lap—it would be an eternity. And I would love every second of it and hate myself for it.
I looked around desperately, like a cab might suddenly appear from the shadows. Instead, the taco truck tapped its horn as it drove past us, leaving the lot. Even Marv had disappeared. The vacant lot with its dim lighting and wall of tents immediately looked menacing. We didn’t even have a car to sit in and wait while I tried to get a taxi to come get us.
He was right. We had to take this ride.
I let out a breath, steeling myself for what I had to do.
Josh got in first, sliding in next to an old white-faced golden retriever who took up most of the cab.
I was hot suddenly. Really hot. I took off his jacket and folded it over my arm and climbed in after him. He pulled me onto his knees, strong hands on my waist, and I draped the jacket over my lap.