I hadn’t talked to Tyler in days. He’d called yesterday and I didn’t answer because I was watching Casino with Josh and didn’t want to stop hanging out with him to talk to the man I should be talking to.
It was shameful.
But I only had two more days until Tyler came home. That was it. And then Josh would vanish back into the garage. An imaginary clock had been ticking in my mind for days, and I was panicking again that Tyler was moving in. Only this time it had more to do with losing Josh than worrying Tyler and I wouldn’t work out.
I nudged Sloan. “Bathroom.” I slid my chair out and set down my wineglass. Sloan got up and followed, the red petticoat swishing under her polka-dot dress.
Once in the safety of the ladies’ room, she cornered me in front of the sink, grinning. “That guy is so into you.”
Her pause dared me to deny it. Maybe he was a little into me. It didn’t matter though.
Unchallenged, she went on, her eyes twinkling. “And you know what else? Brandon won’t talk about it. You know what that means? It means Josh is saying stuff to him that he doesn’t want to tell me.” She looked positively thrilled at this bit of information.
I couldn’t look her in the eye. I stared at the colorful collection of tattoos on her arm. “I like him, Sloan. Like, a lot. I haven’t felt this way in a really long time.” Maybe ever. I glanced back to her.
She broke into one of her dazzling beauty-queen smiles. “Are you going to break up with Tyler?”
And there it was.
I shook my head. “No. Josh and I are never going to be a thing.”
She wrinkled her brow. “Why not? It would be awesome. Me and Brandon, you and Josh. The Ramirezes and Copelands could buy houses next door to each other, raise our kids together…”
I scoffed. “Well, that escalated quickly.”
As if I hadn’t thought about how easy it would be. How perfect. But it was impossible because I was no different than his last girlfriend.
I needed to tell her. I couldn’t keep this from her anymore. Not now that Josh played into it.
I should have told her weeks ago, but Sloan couldn’t compartmentalize like I could. It would upset her. I mean, it upset me too, but I was able to accept it as one of the shitty things that happens in life that you can’t change, and go on with my day. But I couldn’t explain why I couldn’t be with Josh without coming clean. And I really needed to be able to talk to her about this.
“Sloan, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Her beautiful expression fell. She knew my tone. She knew this was bad.
I tucked my hair behind my ear. “You know I’ve had to give up a lot because of my periods.”
She knew. We’d been friends since the sixth grade. She was well aware of my three-week-long menstruation nightmares. I got an ulcer junior year from taking too much ibuprofen for the pain. I’d missed prom because my cramps were so bad I couldn’t even stand up. She’d driven me to the ER more times than I could count.
“I didn’t want to drop this on you before the wedding, and I’m sorry if it messes with you.”
I rallied myself to just say it, to tell her what I’d been dealing with for the last six weeks on my own.
“I’m having a hysterectomy.”
Sloan’s face broke instantly. Her hand flew to her mouth. “What?”
I’d finally gone for the nuclear option. I was done hemorrhaging for weeks at a time, suffering needlessly, not living my life. Enough was enough.
“They don’t normally recommend one for women my age. It’s elective. But the fibroids are severe and affecting my quality of life. The chance I’ll ever be able to actually carry a baby is almost nonexistent.”
“How did it get so bad?” she asked, almost in a whisper.
“Sloan, it’s always been this bad.”
She looked away from me, her eyes searching the floor. “Oh my God, Kristen. Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell me? I…I would have gone with you to the doctor. I would have…” Then her mouth opened and her eyes came back up. “You’ll never have a baby,” she breathed.
I shrugged. “I’d never have one anyway.”
She looked stricken. “But there is a chance you could get pregnant someday, right? Even if it’s a small one,