Freed (Fifty Shades as Told by Christian #3) - E.L. James Page 0,64

for orchestrating. Keys?”

“They are being biked over.”

“I’ll give them to my brother. He’s going to oversee the renovation.”

Her eyes widen. “Renovating, too? You have a great deal on your plate, Christian. I think it’s about time you took a vacation.”

“You know, I’m ready and looking forward to it.”

“Where will you go?”

“I took your advice. Europe.”

She brightens. “Gwen and I are really looking forward to Saturday.”

“I’ll be glad when it’s over.” I give her a tight smile.

“Christian!” She looks taken aback. “You’ve got to enjoy the day!”

“I want Ana to enjoy the day.”

Ros’s stance softens immediately. “You have got it bad.”

I laugh, because she’s never made such a personal comment before. “Guilty as charged.”

She grins, her eyes warming. It’s a good look on her.

“I’ll certainly enjoy my honeymoon knowing that you’re heading this place up and keeping the GEH wheels turning.”

Her grin broadens. “Don’t look so anxious. You’ll be in Europe, not on Mars. If I need you, I’ll call.”

“Thanks, Ros.”

“Now, excuse me while I get on with today’s business.” I step aside and she struts past me. And in that moment, I’m so grateful she’s on my team.

“Christian, you’re like a caged lion. What is it?” Flynn asks. He’s sitting in his chair, regarding me with his usual professional detachment, while I pace up and down his office, treading a path into the thick pile of his rug. I come to a halt at his question and glance through the window to see Taylor waiting by the car. He’s watching the street from behind mirrored aviators.

“Nerves?” I hazard a guess, and returning to the couch, I slump into it.

“That’s a reasonable reaction to the fact that you’re getting married in a couple of days.”

“Is it?”

“Of course it is. It’s perfectly natural to be nervous. You are publicly going to declare how much Anastasia means to you. It’s all getting real.”

Yes. It is.

“But it’s just taken so long to get to this point and at the last minute we forgot the rings.” I throw my hands up in frustration. “What does that say about us?”

“That you’re both busy people?” he offers, his tone mollifying.

But his observation doesn’t appease me. “Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy myself.” My brows knit together.

Flynn looks pensive but remains mute, waiting for me to elucidate.

“I just want it done!”

“Do you? Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

What! I glare at him as if he’s sprouted an additional head. “The wedding? Of course I do!”

“I thought so.”

“Then why ask me if I have doubts?” I snap.

“Christian, I’m trying to unpack the source of your restlessness.”

“I just want it over.” I fire the words at him, exasperated. But Flynn says nothing and continues to observe me with a calm and measured expression while I wait for him to offer up some insight. When he doesn’t, I know he’s testing me.

Damn.

“It’s taken so long. I’m not a patient man,” I mutter.

“It’s been a few weeks, it’s not that long.”

I huff out a breath as I struggle to unscramble my feelings. “I hope Ana doesn’t change her mind.”

“I think at this stage Ana is very unlikely to change her mind. Why would she? She loves you.” He holds my gaze.

I stare at him, silent, unable to articulate what I want to say. It’s frustrating.

“You just want to be married?” Flynn prompts.

“Yes! Then she’s mine. And I can protect her. Properly.”

“Ah.” Flynn nods and lets out a soft sigh. “This isn’t just nerves, Christian. Tell me.”

Showtime, Grey.

I swallow, and from the depths of my soul, I confess my darkest fear. “Life would be unbearable without her.” My words are almost inaudible. “I’m having awful, morbid thoughts.”

He nods and taps his lip, and I realize this is what he’s been waiting for me to say. “Do you want to talk about them?” he asks.

“No.” If I do, I’ll make them real.

“Why not?”

I shake my head feeling exposed—vulnerable—like I’m naked on top of a treeless hill, the wind howling around me.

John rubs his chin. “Christian, your fears are totally understandable. But they come from the place of an abused, neglected child who was abandoned by the death of his mother.”

Closing my eyes, I see the crack whore dead on the floor.

Except she’s Ana.

Fuck.

“You’re an adult now. A pretty successful one at that,” John continues. “None of us have any guarantees in life, but it’s extremely unlikely that anything’s going to happen to Ana, given everything you’ve put in place.”

I open my eyes to meet Flynn’s, and he still wants more.

“I