I lean down, pulling his lips to mine, kissing him without emotion.
But Nash takes. That’s what he does. He demands and doesn’t ask permission. He takes my mouth without forgiveness, pulling me closer and humming into my mouth, but I pull away before he can take something I’m not ready to hand over.
As we pull away, I see Hanna move away from the nightstand. “I want to see you two together…” she whispers quietly.
Fuck my stupid heart for speeding up. Fuck how bad I want that too.
“Nash?” I ask, looking down at him.
“She calls the shots.” He pulls my lips down to his again.
“Get on the bed,” I tell him, and he keeps his eyes on me as he shifts backward, and I crawl over him, covering his body with mine. This time, I grasp his hair in my fists, pulling his head back so I can kiss his neck. It’s a little too rough, I know that, but I love the way he sounds, fighting the pain of my teeth and five o’clock shadow against the tender skin of his neck.
Hanna crawls onto the bed by his head, watching us quietly, so quietly I almost forget she’s there. The room is still dark enough I can only hear her breathing and Nash moaning beneath me. When his hand wraps around our cocks pressed together, I bite down a bit harder. With every ounce of pleasure he brings me, I want him to feel pain. I want him to hurt half as much as I did.
Pulling away, I reach for the lube on the nightstand, and I pop the top. That’s when I notice the seal on the top of the bottle. It’s unopened. With his eyes on me, I pause.
Then, I glance down at him.
He squirms under me. “What are you waiting for?”
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I tear the foil off the top and squirt some onto my fingers, then reaching between us to run my fingers around his tight entrance. He shivers as I cover him.
I’m so fucking anxious to be back inside him, but I take my time, prepping him, watching his face as I work in one, then two fingers. Sitting above him, Hanna watches, biting her lip and clenching her thighs together.
I can’t take another second, so I reach for the condom.
“I’m clean,” he grunts, wrapping his ankles around my waist. “I got tested before you came out.”
Glaring down at him, it feels like my heart is pounding a mile a minute. My hand hovers over the foil packets, and I know in my head I shouldn’t admit to him I also got tested before my trip. If I tell him I did, he’ll know I wanted this.
And suddenly the roles feel reversed. When I first got here, he was the one denying his feelings for me. Now, I’m the one guarding my heart, but I know where he is concerned, I don’t make wise choices, and I don’t care how much this is going to hurt later.
Looking up at Hanna, she nods.
With that, I press my cock against him, hovering over him as I admit what a fucking idiot I am. “So did I.”
Then, I press myself home, inside him, and we both groan. My face contorts, almost in anguish and I rest my forehead against his shoulder, thrusting in hard again. He cries out, his ankles still wrapped around me as he pulls me in again and again.
That’s when I lose control. My body moves on its own, and it’s like the last three years don’t exist, and we’re right back where we were. We are together, and tomorrow feels infinite.
My hands roam his body as I fuck him, along his chest, up his biceps, and when I get to his hands, I feel her hands too. Looking up, I see that she’s grasping his hand in hers and my fingers mingle with theirs.
When I lift to see her, she bolts forward, kissing me hard. The only sound in the room is flesh pounding flesh and Nash’s heavy breathing and loud groans. My hips won’t stop thrusting, and when Hanna releases my lips, she leans over to kiss him. As she reaches down to stroke him, I know he’ll come fast.
So, I hook an arm under his leg, pounding harder, fucking all of my feelings into him because as far as I know this could be our last time. And I still hate him. I hate him so much for