to pick up the discarded clothes on the floor and tossing them into the hamper. “You earned it,” he adds with a chuckle.
“Okay.” It seems like the most natural thing to say. It’s not weird to sleep next to your best friend. It’s not weird that I want to sleep in here.
“I’m going to go shower real quick. You can go after me. Eat something.”
“Okay,” I reply again because I apparently can’t think a thought on my own anymore.
When he leaves the bedroom, I lie naked on his bed, my mind spinning. After a few minutes of running through the options, I settle on a couple of excuses as to why my brain can only seem to think about Ellis and his cock.
It’s just curiosity. I’ve never had sex with a man before, and after experiencing what his mouth felt like around my dick, it’s not wrong to want more.
After everything we’ve done together this year, it’s normal that my mind has connected Ellis to sex. So naturally the thought of his naked body turns me on now. What did I expect to happen?
As I get off the bed and move toward the bathroom to pee, I walk into the foggy haze and see his naked form on the other side of the frosted glass and realize this is about more than sex, isn’t it? I want to be Ellis’s first thought, his number one, his go-to. That’s what I’ve wanted this entire time, but being his best friend doesn’t seem to define what this is anymore.
“You okay?” he asks, probably noticing me standing there, staring at the mirror.
“Yeah. Just tired.”
The shower door opens. “Come on. It’s a big shower. I’m almost done. Wash up and then you can get some sleep.”
Shower with him. Am I going to pass that up? No. Just like I didn’t pass up the invitation to sleep with him. I’m out of my mind.
He was right. It is a big shower, but only by European standards, and our bodies aren’t all that far apart. I can’t take my eyes off of him as he tilts his head back, letting the water run the soap out of his hair and down his back.
“That was your first time having a man give you a blow job, wasn’t it?”
I glare up at him. “Yeah, of course.”
“I could tell by the look on your face.”
“I’m not gay.”
“Neither am I,” he replies, switching places with me so I’m directly under the spray.
“But…”
“I’m bisexual, Nash. I’ve been with men. Does that bother you?”
“No,” I answer quickly. I’m almost offended he has to ask me that, but I guess I can understand with how wigged out I am tonight. It was a lot to take in at once. The bondage, the blow job. I need a drink and a minute to process this.
“Good,” he replies, pouring shampoo into his hands, and I don’t quite know what’s happening until his hands are in my hair. He’s washing my hair, and I’m letting him, like I’m a fucking child. But it feels good. His nearness, his attention. I’m soaking it in.
That’s the last we talk about the blow job, and I do climb into his bed after the shower. It doesn’t feel weird. Luckily, it’s a king with plenty of room for both of us, and once we both sink into the mattress, I hear his breathing slow to a sleeping cadence after only a few minutes.
Through the darkness, I can see his chest move and the silhouette of his face in the moonlight. I could never see a future without a woman in it, but these past six months have changed something in my head. Like I’m drowning in him, and I never want to come up for air.
15
As the helicopter touches down on the landing pad just outside Wilde headquarters, I let out a heavy exhale. It feels good to be off the island. Just to clear my head, ground myself in reality for a moment. Unfortunately, I couldn’t escape my company on this little trip. Ellis is sitting next to me, and Hanna is stewing silently in the back.
She asked to hitch a ride so she could handle some things, and Ellis offered to help her. He wanted to come to the meeting I have with the design team, but I assured him it’s just boring engineering stuff. Nothing to do with the acquisition, and he accepted that, deciding to accompany her instead.