Fractured Ties by Bethany-Kris Page 0,47
scared.”
He blinked. “You think I’m scared?”
Maya shrugged. “That’s what it is, right? Otherwise, I can’t come up with any other reason why you behave the way you do when I’m put into a bad situation. You react from fear, even if you don’t want to say it.”
“I … really just want a drink,” he mumbled, tipping the glass up again.
“If you really want me to leave you alone, then you could at least give me the decency of telling me the truth as to why.”
Maya stayed right where she was standing and refused to move or look away from Kolya, even as the silence stretched on and the awkwardness turned into a tension she wasn’t used to feeling around this man. She hoped her point was clear, though. She wasn’t doing anything until he gave her something to go on.
Simple as that.
Finally, Kolya’s intense gaze slid away from Maya, leaving her feeling both relieved and lonely at the same time. She liked when he stared at her—especially when he thought she wasn’t looking back, but she also found when he stared at her like this, she didn’t know how to feel about it, or him, at all.
“It’s too much,” he uttered.
Maya tangled her fingers together in an effort to release some of her jitteriness as she asked, “What is?”
“Here,” he said, pointing a finger at his head, and then down to his chest before adding, “And here, too. It’s too much.”
Maya abused her bottom lip with her teeth and tried to understand his words. “Me, you mean?”
Kolya nodded. “I don’t know how to handle it. So, I do so badly. I would rather you not be in the crossfire, Maya, that’s all.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
He looked back at her. “Okay?”
“You react from fear, Kolya.”
His jaw stiffened as he said, “For you.”
He almost sounded bitter about it. And yet, confused too, but also … satisfied. Maybe she understood then what he meant by it being all a little too much for him to deal with inside his head, and his heart.
“I’m sorry that scares you.”
It scared her, too.
He let out a heavy sigh, and turned away from her. “You don’t scare me—the rest does.”
Same difference.
Wasn’t it?
• • •
Maya peered up at the inky sky, but failed to find the stars she liked so much. On the veranda attached to their hotel room, she was only four stories above the busy street. Despite it being dark, and well past midnight, there were still a few people strolling the streets.
Not all savory people, either.
Tucking her legs up to her chest, Maya held tight to her cup of tea in an effort to force herself to relax. It didn’t work.
Nothing was.
She felt Kolya’s presence behind her long before he made himself known—his hand came to rest overtop her shoulder, warm and calloused. Comforting, and yet still rough. He said nothing as his fingertips glided over her skin, and then his hand moved to gently cup the side of her throat.
Her heart raced.
Thump, thump, thump.
Faster than she was used to.
A beat of betrayal, really.
He had to be able to feel her heartbeat, touching her like he was. So he would know just by that alone how much his presence affected her. Maya wasn’t sure if she liked that or not. This whole fucking thing between them—whatever it was—was one big conundrum for her.
She felt his fingertips press into her pulse point, and then just as quickly, released the pressure without a word. Yet, his hand remained right where it was, and Maya didn’t really mind all that much.
“I’m a … a mudak,” he said gruffly.
Maya tipped her head back and stared up at him, although she found he was staring straight out over the balcony of the veranda. “An asshole, I know.”
Kolya’s lips twitched at the corners like he was considering smiling. How much effort did it take, she wondered, to keep one’s self from smiling when a person felt the need? And how sad was it that she noticed he did that very thing all too often for her liking?
“I don’t mean to be an asshole.” Kolya’s lip curled back in a half-sneer and he glanced down at her to add, “At least, not to you, dushka.”
“Again with that,” she said shaking her head.
Kolya did smile that time—slow, and sly. “And yet, you still are.”
“Hmm?”
“My dushka. I’m sorry for earlier.”
Maya nodded.
What else could she do?
“Anton called—Sumerki will be back in a half hour or so.”
Maya smiled. “He’s okay, then?”
“Maybe I overreacted about him.”
“Maybe?”
“You’re not getting