Four Weddings and a Swamp Boat Tour - Erin Nicholas Page 0,87

seemed so contented. They would just lie there together and rock. Sometimes they’d talk. Sometimes they didn’t. But it was just peaceful and sweet.

He was going to have to take the hammock down when she left. He’d never be able to be in there again without thinking of her. And never with anyone else. But the moments with her out there were worth it.

“We can’t leave the reception,” she said. “I love being here with everyone.”

“Oh.” He had to admit he hadn’t expected that. He knew she’d enjoyed the wedding planning and seeing it all come together. He knew she genuinely liked and cared about Tori, Maddie, and Juliet, and the guys. But he’d figured by now she’d be over all the wedding stuff and the massive number of people and the noise.

Paige tipped her head. “You’re surprised.”

“I am.” He shrugged. “There’s a lot of people and noise and bullshit and crazy in that building.”

She nodded. “Yep. But… I’ve gotten used to it. I guess I understand the noise now.”

“Understand it?”

“The noise is about love and belonging and celebration.” She moved her hand from his shoulder to his neck, stroking up and down. “Even on a regular Tuesday at lunchtime, it’s about celebration. Celebrating being together. Celebrating the life everyone here values. Even when they’re bitching or arguing, it’s still a celebration of having people in your life that will listen and will care enough to argue with you.”

Mitch was watching her carefully. He loved what she was saying, but he was definitely surprised. It seemed her touch on his neck was absent-minded. She was lost in what she was saying.

“Being here has helped me realize some things about home,” she admitted. “All of the ways my family has been ‘butting in’ to my life has really been more about me than them.”

“How so?” Mitch asked. He felt a strange combination of happiness and hope that Paige was figuring some things out down here and trepidation that she was figuring out that maybe she missed Appleby.

He didn’t want her to not love her hometown. In fact, he really did want her to love home and her family and her history there. But if she started missing it, maybe she’d realize she didn’t need to go to Colorado to be alone after all. Maybe she’d just want to head home.

“Breaking off my engagement and canceling the wedding did a number on all of us. My mom was definitely disappointed and worried. But I think my guilt was stronger than anything.”

She pressed her lips together, thinking. Then continued, “I think I’ve been projecting a lot of guilt onto the things they want from me. Like when they want me to help my niece and nephew with projects. Or when Josie and Grant want me to come to dinner. Or when I’m at weddings of friends and family. I’ve been thinking that it’s all about them wanting me to want a wedding and a husband and kids of my own, but…” She took a breath and let it out. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? Remember, I witnessed how hard your family tried to find out what was going on with us when I was in Iowa,” Mitch said.

They’d been pretty relentless there for a while about trying to figure out who she was spending the night with instead of participating in family time.

“Yeah, but of course they were curious, right? I mean, I’m so secretive about things. I don’t let them in. I don’t really talk about how I’m feeling.” Paige gave him a small smile, but she looked sad.

“I’ve never actually talked to my mom about calling off the wedding, or how I felt or how I feel about dating and settling down. I say things like, “I’ll just get another cat” or “it’s none of your business.” But I think it’s because I’ve wondered if I’m wrong about not wanting that stuff and if maybe I’m weird or something. I didn’t know how to talk to her about it.”

Mitch felt his gut knot. Yeah, she was figuring things out, and that probably meant that she would want to go home and talk this stuff out. Which she should. For sure. He wanted her to be happy and to have as good a relationship with her family as she could. Of course.

Damn, he was going to miss her.

“How has being here helped you figure that all out?” he asked, hoping she wouldn’t hear how tight his voice was.

“Observing wedding preparations and family interactions that