Four Letter Word (Love Logic #2) - K.M. Neuhold Page 0,59

back and pulls out the now even more creased notebook. “Aren’t you worried it’s going to fall apart if you keep folding it like that?”

“This isn’t my current notebook; it’s an old one,” he answers. “Funnily enough, it’s the one I used when I was plotting The Titans.”

I gasp, literally gasp like the thirsty fanboy I am, my eyes nearly popping out of my head as I reach for the notebook with shaking hands. “You’re shitting me.”

“Nope.” He grins, releasing the notebook into my grasp.

My food sits forgotten as I flip open to the first page. His handwriting is a messy scrawl, his thoughts all seeming to be half-formed when he jotted them down. If I hadn’t read the book cover to cover so many times, words like research Nephilim-bible and Reagan’s Father might not mean anything. As it is, I squirm giddily, flipping page after page. There are hastily drawn flow charts, multiple versions of the story outline, each one getting subtly closer to what ended up being the final story.

“This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, a lot of it is hard to follow, but getting to peek into your thought process when you were writing something so brilliant is just wow.”

“Keep it,” he says.

“What? I can’t do that.” I shake my head and close the notebook.

“Why not? The book is written. I don’t have any use for my old notes now. That’s been sitting in a box next to my bed along with all the rest of my used comp books.”

“You’re serious? I can keep this?”

“You’ll get more enjoyment out of having it than I will.”

“Thank you, this is amazing.” I have the urge to jump up and hug him, but that’s probably not the best idea, so I force myself to stay seated, gently setting the notebook aside and picking up one of the many containers of food, not even paying attention to what it is.

“Thanks for showing me this,” he says, gesturing around the room before shoving a bite of chicken into his mouth.

I nod, words fleeing from my mind for a minute. He might as well have said thanks for letting me see you naked. Are there right words in response when someone thanks you for being vulnerable?

“Can I ask you a question?” I ask instead, biting the crispy end off of an egg roll.

“Sure, go for it.”

“Is it hard to share someone you care about? I mean, knowing Bishop might have random sex with a stranger somehow feels less threatening than knowing he’s in a meaningful relationship with someone else.” I know Bishop corrected me about the word sharing, but I can’t think of a better way to describe it. What’s the right way to express that someone you love isn’t only yours? But damn, he’s right: it does make him sound like a possession when I think of it that way.

“It takes some getting used to,” he agrees, pushing the chicken fried rice around with his fork. “But at the end of the day, you have to think about what’s best for your partner. Not everyone can handle a poly relationship.”

“I want to. I mean, if that’s still what Bishop wants. He hasn’t stopped by yet, so I don’t know.”

“He told me he was planning to come over here tomorrow.”

“He is?” I light up at this news.

“That’s what he said, but you didn’t hear it from me,” Riot says with a smirk.

“I really want to make it work, but I’m worried I won’t get it right. I’ve never been very good at getting things like this right. Leo hates me and with good reason. Bishop is the only person who’s stuck by me through all my fuck ups; I can’t lose him.”

“If it matters this much to you, I know it’ll work out. And you may be new to this, but I’m an old pro. We can figure it all out.”

“Thanks. See that’s the kind of thing that’s hard to wrap my head around,” I admit.

“What’s that?”

“Promising another guy that you’ll help make sure he works things out with your boyfriend.”

“You’re thinking of it all wrong,” Riot says. “Bishop isn’t mine, and being with you will make him happy. Love isn’t finite, and it doesn’t have to be hoarded to be meaningful. The heart is like a garden: the more flowers you plant, the more beautiful the bloom is.”

“Wow, I never thought of it that way.”

“I know it takes a little bit of an adjustment of mindset, but