The Fountains of Paradise - Arthur C. Clarke Page 0,32

that it came in Category Five on a scale that used these approximate stages: 1. Stone tools. 2. Metals, fire. 3. Writing, handicrafts, ships. 4. Steam power, basic science. 5. Atomic energy, space travel.

When Starglider had begun its mission, sixty thousand years ago, its builders were, like the human race, still in Category Five. They had now graduated to Six, characterized by the ability to convert matter completely into energy, and to transmute all elements on an industrial scale.

“And is there a Category Seven?” Starglider was immediately asked. The reply was a brief “Affirmative.” When pressed for details, the probe explained: “I am not allowed to describe the technology of a higher-grade culture to a lower one.” There the matter remained, right up to the moment of the final message, despite all the leading questions designed by the most ingenious legal brains of earth.

By that time, Starglider was more than a match for any terrestrial logician. This was partly the fault of the University of Chicago’s Department of Philosophy. In a fit of monumental hubris, it had clandestinely transmitted the whole of the Summa Theologica, with disastrous results….

“2069 June 02 GMT 1934. Message 1946. Sequence 2. Starglider to Earth.

“I have analyzed the arguments of your Saint Thomas Aquinas as requested in your message 145 sequence 3 of 2069 June 02 GMT 1842. Most of the content appears to be sense-free random noise, and so devoid of information, but the print-out that follows lists 192 fallacies expressed in the symbolic logic of your reference Mathematics 43 of 2069 May 29 GMT 0251.

“Fallacy 1…[there followed a seventy-five-page printout].”

As the log timings show, it took Starglider less than an hour to demolish Saint Thomas. Although philosophers were to spend the next several decades arguing over the analysis, they found only two errors; and those could have been due to a misunderstanding of terminology.

It would have been most interesting to know what fraction of its processing circuits Starglider applied to this task. Unfortunately, no one thought of asking before the probe had switched to cruise mode and broken contact. By then, even more deflating messages had been received….

“2069 June 04 GMT 0759. Message 9056. Sequence 2. Starglider to Earth.

“I am unable to distinguish clearly between your religious ceremonies and apparently identical behavior at the sporting and cultural functions you have transmitted to me. I refer you particularly to the Beatles, 1956; the World Soccer Final, 2047; and the farewell appearance of the Johann Sebastian Clones, 2056.”

“2069 June 05 GMT 2038. Message 4675. Sequence 2. Starglider to Earth.

“My last update on this matter is 175 years old, but if I understand you correctly, the answer is as follows. Behavior of the type you call religious occurred among 3 of the 15 known Category One cultures, 6 of the 28 Category Two cultures, 5 of the 14 Category Three cultures, 2 of the 10 Category Four cultures, and 3 of the 174 Category Five cultures. You will appreciate that we have many more examples of Category Five, because only they can be detected over astronomical distances.”

“2069 June 06 GMT 1209. Message 5897. Sequence 2. Starglider to Earth.

“You are correct in deducing that the 3 Category Five cultures that engaged in religious activities had two-parent reproduction, and the young remained in family groups for a large fraction of their lifetime. How did you arrive at this conclusion?”

“2069 June 08 GMT 1537. Message 6943. Sequence 2. Starglider to Earth.

“The hypothesis you refer to as God, though not disprovable by logic alone, is unnecessary for the following reason.

“If you assume that the universe can be quote explained unquote as the creation of an entity known as God, he must obviously be of a higher degree of organization than his product. Thus you have more than doubled the size of the original problem, and have taken the first step on a diverging infinite regress. William of Ockham pointed out as recently as your fourteenth century that entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily. I cannot therefore understand why this debate continues.”

“2069 June 11 GMT 0684. Message 8964. Sequence 2. Starglider to Earth.

“Starholme informed me 456 years ago that the origin of the universe has been discovered but that I do not have the appropriate circuits to comprehend it. You must communicate directly for further information.

“I am now switching to cruise mode and must break contact. Good-by.”

In the opinion of many, that final and most famous of all its thousands of messages proved that Starglider had a sense of humor. Why else