Foundations - Kate Canterbary Page 0,6

I'd think twice before returning to the scene of the crime." Another shrug. "Then I'd probably get over it."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked. "You'd get over it? You'd just tuck that shit away and throw her on the bed?"

He ran his hand over the back of his neck. "I'd get a vasectomy first. Then, after an appropriate amount of recovery time, I'd throw her on the bed."

I didn't say it but the thought had crossed my mind. Often. At least once a day since bringing Maddie home from the hospital. I didn't mention it to Lauren because we barely had time to discuss anything outside of the baby's sleeping, eating, and diapering requirements. I wish someone had told me my life would one day revolve around the frequency and form of my child's poop. I wish I'd known. I wouldn't have done anything differently but I would've been prepared for this new, poop-filled chapter in my life.

Aside from those issues, I didn't want to open the conversation about having another baby. My mother-in-law kept talking about the next one as if that kid was already on the way. Every time she brought it up, I was certain Lauren was going to shoot fire from her eyes.

We'd had all these ideas about moving to a big house outside the city and filling it with kids and dogs. Those ideas sounded crazy now. Straight up crazy. We rarely slept at the same time because we'd carved the night into shifts. We didn't have time to talk—really talk—without her parents or my family in earshot. And I was terrified I'd break her, hurt her, push for something she couldn't bear. After everything she'd been through, it seemed inevitable.

I needed her time, her attention, her warm body beside me. I needed her. If filling our house with kids meant forfeiting any of that, I didn't know how I'd ever make anything but a selfish choice. Perhaps our love was limitless but our time was not. And I wasn't sure I could watch Lauren tear herself apart all over again.

"I can't believe you've survived this long," Patrick said. "On all counts. No sleep, no sex. I don't understand how you're functioning."

I barked out a laugh. "I'm not. Isn't that why you're lobbing me this softball project?"

"I'm giving you this property because we don't know what else to do about it and you need something that won't demand a ton of time," he replied. "Not sure if you remember but you knocked out so many projects before the baby arrived, you cleared your schedule straight through to November. That's why we've only sent structural reviews your way since you came back to the office a couple of weeks ago."

I glanced from side to side. "I don't need to be here right now?"

"I'm not saying that at all. I want this property off the books," he replied. "But if you want to take it slow and nap in your office this month, you have the flexibility to do that."

I stared down at the grimy linoleum tiles. Once upon a time, they'd been white. Age and time and wear had turned them gray, black at the seams. "Good to know."

"You also need to get that kid to sleep right fucking now."

"Don't I know it," I replied with a laugh.

"Why is it so difficult? You just"—he swept his arm to the side—"put the kid in the crib. Right? Then she falls asleep. It's not that complicated, Matthew."

I gave him a tolerant grin. One of these days, I'd stand in another drafty Dutch colonial and tell him to put his tiny baby in the crib. Simple as could be. With any luck, that baby would make a habit of spitting up on him and only him. "Believe me, man. It's easier said than done. Your time will come and then you'll know how it is."

He shot me a scowl. "We'll see about that."

"Come on," I cried. "Andy's at my house right now, dressing Maddie in costumes and arranging her with cute pumpkin props. You're gonna be right there with me, tired and miserable and then feeling like an ass for being miserable because your kid is the most amazing thing in the world. And you're going to be afraid of breaking your wife after she broke herself to give you a baby. You're going to be there any day now."

Patrick stepped into the adjoining dining room. "That's a conversation I'll have with my wife, but thank you for your input."

"Yeah, you