“It’s something real,” he said, showing her another smile. “I know it now. It took me a minute, but I got my head out my ass.”
A brief laugh escaped her. “Your mom told you to come.”
“My mom didn’t get why I ever let you leave, and she was right. I couldn’t let you pass me by, Popkat. I can’t. You’re not better off without me. Let me prove that to you. Give me a chance to do this the right way. No secrets. No sneaking. Truth. Honesty. Us.”
“We can’t.”
But when she tried to pull away, he snatched her back. “Every moment we’re apart is a slow, agonizing death,” he said, vehement in his conviction. “Nothing compares to this, Pop. We can’t ignore that. What I want is right in front of me… don’t tell me I can’t have it.”
It was what he’d done to her. So much of what he was saying mirrored their past conversations. Like all of it made sense to him now. Poppy had figured out that what she felt for him was real long before she’d ever thought about leaving.
“Why?” she asked. “How do I know this isn’t just the chase? That you don’t only want me because I’ve been taken away?”
“I don’t even know how…” He inhaled through his nose, taking the time to moisten his lips. “This is no game. This is real. Us. It’s real. All the time you were trying to support me, trying to be what no one else would be: simple. All you gave me was acceptance. Complete acceptance. One hundred percent of the time. You were my beacon of hope, my security, the only one I could rely on to never want anything but me. That was all you wanted, all along. You never needed me. Not for one second. But I need you. I can’t do it without you. Can’t go on another second without knowing you’re with me. We belong together, Candy-Cane. I feel it now, that thing inside me you talked about, the physical presence. It’s you and me. We are coded to each other, baby… You’re in my DNA.”
A long lingering silence stretched. Poppy didn’t know what to do or what to say.
Her grandmother didn’t miss the chance to move things along. “You haven’t said you love her,” Grammie said.
Turner smiled, that slow, predatory, carnal smile that she’d only seen him use on her. “I don’t have to say it,” he said, combing his fingers into her hair. “She already knows it… Just like I know she loves me… She’s been showing me all along and I was too dumb to accept it. You’re the first and only woman I have ever truly loved, Poppy Granger, and I’m ready… for whatever comes next. As long as we do it together, I’m ready.”
Except she wasn’t. Poppy couldn’t take him away from his life. From his family. From his work. Putting an end to their relationship was the hardest thing that she’d ever had to do. Every minute since walking away from him, she’d ached to be near him again.
But true love was a pesky thing. Feeling for him the way she did, it was impossible for Poppy to put her own needs in front of his. Even if it meant hurting him or him hating her, she’d endure anything to see that what he valued was prioritized first.
Sliding her hand free from his grasp, Poppy took a step back. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice deeper than usual. She couldn’t even meet his eye. “I feel terrible that you came all this way.”
His optimism faltered. “Candy-Cane…”
“I’m sorry,” she said, forcing herself to look at him even though it shattered her heart. “You should go home, there’s nothing for you here.” Poppy started past him, but he grabbed her wrist to halt her. The searching hurt in his gaze sought something she daren’t let him see. “I’m sorry, Turner. Honestly, I am. But you need to go.”
Walking away from him seemed to take hours. There couldn’t have been more than a dozen feet between her and the door, still the distance stretched for miles.
Letting him go once was torture, a second time just seemed like unnecessary hell. He couldn’t love a life on the estate with her. He wouldn’t want to attend parties or schmooze society any more than she did. Poppy couldn’t save herself from it, but she could ensure he never had to