family board-game nights were all things I wanted but Brian laughed at.” He studied the inside of his cup. “Guess I was stupid.”
“Ain’t nothin’ stupid about wantin’ a family. Only, everyone has a different definition of it. My mother died, so my aunt raised me. That wasn’t part of the plan, but we made it work. You just didn’t find the right person to make it happen with.”
“Yet.”
He darted a glance at Shea, whose lips tilted up at the corner, ever so slightly. “Are you lookin’?”
He had to be honest. “I’m not sure what I’m up against. I have to get Stacey squared away. Once we’re home, the first thing I need to do is get to the doctor. I’ll call her this morning when her office opens.”
“You can call from one of the house phones, then go into town and get a new cell phone.”
Jake made a face. “Damn. Yeah. With everything else that happened, I forgot. It’s been such a pleasure not being tied to it. I’d almost forgotten about work.”
“That’s the biggest compliment we get here at the ranch. People come here and forget their problems.”
“I told you it’s magical. I felt it from the first. Forget Me Not. Aptly named. I know I’ll never forget it.”
“Yeah.” Shea gazed out the window, his strong profile half-shadowed. “You don’t forget it once you’ve been. Gets in your blood.”
“So, can I ask you something?”
“Anythin’.” Shea took a big bite of a cranberry muffin, and his cheeks bulged. He looked adorably cute and sexy and…damn.
Rein it in, Jake. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed early morning conversations after a night spent cuddled together.
“Why do you want to sell the ranch? Why not keep it in the family? Hire people to run it, and keep the profits.” Maybe he was overstepping, but Jake knew if he had a place like this, he’d never sell it.
“I’ll need the money to buy a place and have enough of a bank account to afford to live in New York City.” That strong jaw tight now, Shea set the rest of the muffin back on the plate.
The sun was beginning to show itself, and a rooster crowed. Used to the sounds of traffic, Jake had to smile to himself at the dichotomy.
“And is that so important? Lots of people just come visit once a year.”
“It’s all I ever wanted. I loved it when I was there. So much to do an’ see, I feel it’ll take years to get to everythin’ I want to once I’m there. Plus it’ll help my modeling career.”
Something in Shea’s words didn’t convey that electric excitement he’d hardly been able to contain when they’d first talked about him moving. Knowing him a little better now, Jake could see the decision wasn’t an easy one for him to make. “Are you looking to move ahead with that?”
“I’d like to see what’s out there for me before I get too old. Maybe do some swimwear or somethin’. I haven’t done enough to make a big enough splash in the industry and make enough money.”
“And your father knew what you planned?”
The shutters came down on Shea’s face. “Yeah. He did.”
It was obvious to Jake that the pain of Shea’s father’s passing was a fresh, raw wound he hadn’t yet had a chance to come to terms with. “I’m not here to pass judgment on you. We all have to do what we think is best. But sometimes what we think we want changes course along the way. Like my idea of a family.” He grimaced. “I got shit at work when I announced Stacey’s birth. Plenty of people didn’t think a gay couple should be allowed to raise a child.” The sneers and side-eyes from some people at Precision had hurt him, but he’d ignored it all. Once Brian walked out, Jake allowed their negativity to grow inside him, and he’d had more sleepless nights than he could remember, believing he was going to fail.
“Fuck them,” Shea growled. “Nobody’s a better father than you.”
“Thanks.”
They sat and finished their coffees in silence. By that time, the sun had risen, and the sounds of the ranch came to life: footsteps kicked the gravel, chickens clucked, donkeys brayed, and horses whinnied in the distance.
“I’d better get this back to the kitchen and help Patty with breakfast. Then I’ll take you to get a new phone. We’ll have to go into Dallas, though, since there’re no phone stores between here ’n there.”