The Forever of Ella and Micha - By Jessica Sorensen

Prologue

Ella

There’s something ominous about the bridge, yet I’m drawn to it by an inner compulsion. It’s not as painful as it used to be, but there are still raw memories linked to it that will haunt me forever.

The sky is cloudy and the gentle breeze kisses my skin. I zip my jacket up as I gaze out at the dark water, lost in my thoughts of that terrible night when I considered jumping.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Micha asks, the same question he’s been asking for the last few days. His knuckles turn white as he clutches onto the railing of the bridge and peers down at the lake. “You’ve been through a lot this weekend.”

I wince at the recollection of my dad’s angry voice when he told me he wished I wasn’t his daughter, when Dean and I had confronted him about his alcoholism. Cruel words were shouted that ripped at my heart. I keep trying to convince myself that it’s the addiction talking, not him, but I don’t entirely believe it. My body and mind are exhausted from the drama, but I’ll push through, just like I did the last time. There is no running away anymore, only dealing with it and eventually moving on.

Micha doesn’t know the entire story of what happened and I want to save him from the burden. He worries about me all the time and the guilt consumes me. He should be happy, love life, do what he wants to do. He deserves it.

I frown, hating that when we walk off the bridge, he’ll leave me to return to the road with his band. “I’m a little sad you have to go.”

He releases the metal railing and his aqua eyes sparkle as he hugs me. I bury my face into his chest and breathe him in, never wanting to let him go.

“I love you, Ella May.” He kisses the top of my head.

I shut my eyes and suck back the tears. “I love you, too.”

He presses his full lips to mine and kisses me passionately, his lip ring digging into my mouth. My skin warms as his hands explore my back and his fingers graze across my ass, begging my body closer to his. I tangle my fingers through his soft hair before securing my arms around the back of his neck. His tongue traces the inside of my mouth and he intensifies the kiss until we have to pull away to catch our breath.

My chest heaves as I gaze out at the lake one last time and the sun reflects in the water. “It’s time to go, isn’t it?”

He squeezes my hand. “It’ll be okay. We have the whole twelve-hour drive ahead of us, and I’ll be gone for only a couple weeks before I’m annoying the hell out of you again.”

I force a smile. “I know and I’m looking forward to being annoyed.”

We walk hand in hand back to Lila’s black Mercedes. I let him drive and he flies down the dirt road, leaving a cloud of dust behind us that quickly vanishes.

Chapter 1

Two months later

Ella

Every night I have the same dream. Micha and I are standing on opposite ends of the bridge. Rain beats down violently from the dark sky and the wind kicks up debris between us.

Micha extends his hand and I walk toward him, but he slips away from me until he lands up on the railing of the bridge. He teeters in the wind and I want to save him, but my feet won’t budge. A gust of wind slams into him and he falls backward, vanishing into the darkness. I wake up screaming and full of guilt.

My therapist has a theory that the nightmare signifies my fear of losing Micha, although that doesn’t explain why I won’t save him. When she mentioned it, my heart sped up and my palms began to sweat. I never looked far enough into the future to realize that maybe one day Micha and I may not be together.

A forever? Does such a thing exist?

With as much time as we spend together I wonder where our relationship is going. The last time we saw each other was at Grady’s funeral. It was the second toughest day of my life; the first being my mother’s funeral.

Micha and I had been out on the cliff that overlooked the lake, with a black jar containing Grady’s ashes. The wind was blowing and all I could think about was how much death owned