Forest of Spirits – S.J. Sanders Page 0,116

and those under my care killed where they stood. And then there was you—in a place where no other has ever set foot, a lone individual who survived virtually unscathed. What was I to think?”

“Probably should have thought to ask your sister, since she’s the only one who seems to know anything of what is going on in the forest,” she shot back. “For whatever reason, you blocked me out your mind and set a barrier in place without even talking to me. You left me alone in that room and then went to get cleansed with that barrier in place. It blocked every memory of me, you prick. How could you! How dare you! You convinced me to give in to the need of the bond, made me your mate, and then cast me aside. You didn’t even have the balls to bring me home yourself like you promised. You had Raskyuil do it!”

His jaw hardened, and he shook his head. “I can’t fathom what you have experienced because I don’t know. I look at you and I see a stranger, one whom I need with every ounce of my being, who only came into my world because of my interfering mother, so I recently discovered. I don’t know why I rejected you, nor the circumstances of our time together. I don’t even know what draws me to you now. I only know that you are mine, and even though I am not sure if I want you, I will not allow another within my territory.”

Meeting her eyes, he picked up the cup and took a long drink, his tongue swiping along the edge of the cup to finish the last drop.

“Unbelievable,” she muttered. “Of all the egotistical stupidity. You should have just stayed away and left me alone with my grief instead of coming here and destroying me all over again. Thanks to you my life has been changed forever. I have changed. I’m no longer human, and the one place I wanted to peacefully live out the rest of my life so that I could someday be buried with my family, I’ll have to leave so no one comes waving pitchforks at my door. I’ve seen what kind of ugly mob the townspeople can turn into. My entire life has been upended, and for nothing. After what you did, the least you could have done was give me the courtesy of leaving me alone!”

“You don’t understand. You think I want to feel the way I do. To yearn and need endlessly with a pain that never dulls with the passage of days. I don’t!” He sighed. “I don’t wish to hurt you. I don’t know what I want. I just know that I have been broken and empty the entire time I have wandered your world… and now Cacus has gone to ground.” He drew his hand up behind his horns and swept his hand through his hair. “The only clues I have are that I need to follow my instinct and I need my light. My instinct fails me, and I cannot see whatever light I’m to seek.” He paused, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What is my special light that I need?” he muttered.

“How the fuck should I know,” she snapped as she shoved back her chair. Standing, she leaned forward and slammed her hand on the table between them, small claws shooting out from her fingertips, scoring the wood. “As far as I’m concerned, there is no light. Everything is one big, dreary shit hole. I feel broken and empty, and you left me like this. You tore out my heart and abandoned me and all you can think of is your duty. I mean, I get it. Everything is dying because of that asshole—but fuck you!”

His head snapped back, his pale eyes watching her in surprise. She didn’t care—he was about to hear all about himself. Tears stung her eyes and she was helpless to stop her fury as it swamped over her. Her eyes narrowed on him; her lips twisted with grief.

“Never have I despised anyone the way I’ve despised you these last few months. I cursed you every night for what you did to me. Don’t come to me thinking that I will feel sorry for you or pat you on the back and tell you it will be okay,” she choked, a sob rising to her throat. “You don’t fucking get to play the victim! I was beginning to fall

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