Football and Ballet - Jason Collins Page 0,57

into me, I felt my eyes begin to well with tears, my movements becoming more erratic as I leapt and leapt and leapt between the ballerinas who began to circle me with their tiny frames.

“There we go! That’s it!” Isaac sounded pleased. “Dance with your heart on your sleeve! Dance for your life!”

I continued with my motions, my leaps and turns reaching a fever pitch before a pair of ballerinas grabbed me by the arm and dragged me toward the other end of the stage. I then fell to my knees before another ballerina, the queen of the forest, who regarded me with a cold-hearted look. I proceeded to plead and beg for my life and my love with everything I had, crawling toward her even as tears rolled down my cheek.

And then, the queen motioned to the rest of the ballerinas, who started to turn their backs on me, one by one, until each of them had their backs facing the stage.

At that, I was once again dragged by a pair of ballerinas who gently threw me toward the side of the stage, just enough for my frame to disappear from the imaginary audience’s view.

“What a beautiful way to die!” Isaac clapped excitedly. “All right, time for Keaton to come back to the stage. Keaton?”

“That was so fucking good,” Keaton whispered as he passed me backstage. “Really nice work, Patri—hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I lied as I wiped tears away from my cheeks. “I was just method acting.”

“Oh.” Keaton smiled. “I should try that sometime. It’s really convincing.”

Keaton then beamed at me for a final time before he hurried out onto the stage, quickly finding his place among the rest of the dancers.

A few hours after rehearsal and I was sitting in my tub, my body surrounded by warm water and salt I’d poured underneath its surface, hoping it was going to help with my aching bones.

But nothing seemed to be helping lately. It was like my usual recovery time had been thrown right out the window, my body taking forever to recover from a rough workout, much less a full rehearsal of Giselle. And as I rested my head against the porcelain, I brought my knees up toward my chest, letting out a deep breath unraveling right from my core.

How much longer was I going to do this?

How much longer could I have done this? Push my body to the edge and expect everything to be fine the next day, even though it was clearer than ever that those days were long gone.

Fuck.

I needed to think about my next steps, even though I had no idea what those where, or even where I should begin.

Was I going to go from being on stage to working in an office? How would my background as a dancer even work out for me in the job search? I didn’t know which of the skills I’d picked up were going to transfer into a tangible position, and which ones made me utterly unemployable.

And as I stared up at my ceiling, wondering about where my life was headed next, my thoughts floated right back to Hunter Perry.

I missed him.

What would it be like if we ended up back together? If I’d agreed to live my life as his dirty little secret that he kept out of the limelight and away from the cameras?

We could’ve been really happy. We could’ve rented an apartment together, somewhere far away from the city, somewhere without prying eyes and curious glares. We could’ve had breakfast together, whenever he wasn’t too busy with training, and maybe even one day, I could’ve surprised him by cooking us a carb-filled feast, a meal I never would’ve been able to indulge in while training with my dance company.

And maybe after a few months together, Hunter would’ve surprised me by bringing home a puppy or a kitten, a pet for us to take care of as a couple. I genuinely wouldn’t have cared whether it was a dog or a cat, just happy to have something that we could’ve called our own, as we continued to build our lives together. But more importantly than that, having a pet together would’ve meant that Hunter and I planned on being together for a long time, an unwritten agreement as soon as we picked out a collar.

But just as I started to daydream about white picket fences and waking up with Hunter by my side every morning, I felt a pain jolt right through my