Football and Ballet - Jason Collins

1

Hunter

“Hunter Perry Canceled! Star Quarterback Trending Online For Response to Offensive Comments”

“Jerk of The Day: Hunter Perry of the NFL Green Knights”

“Cheerleading Isn’t Just For Girls, Hunter Perry: Why We Need To Talk About The Quarterback’s Viral Laugh Moment”

I reluctantly scrolled through my phone, reading headline after headline featuring my name. I knew that I’d become a trending topic, judging by the way it seemed like I’d been tagged in every other post, but I was still hoping things were going to die down on their own and this would all just blow over.

Damn.

This wasn’t even fair.

I’d been caught laughing by some reporter, and the next thing I knew, my face had gone viral, spreading like wildfire on the internet. At first, it looked like people were mostly just amused by how laidback I seemed, a departure from my typical, serious expression whenever I was being interviewed by the press.

But then, my laugh turned into the hottest topic of the day, with football fans debating back and forth about whether or not I deserved to be benched for the rest of the season. And by the time I’d caught wind of the online conversation, the debaters had changed from football fans to people who didn’t even watch the sport, with think-pieces weighing in on what they assumed was my opinion about gender norms.

All because I’d laughed at the same time that Brandon made a joke.

The worst part was that I wasn’t even laughing at Brandon’s stupid joke. I hadn’t even heard what the guy had said, my attention focused on Roger, one of my other teammates, and the way he’d tripped over his own two feet after bragging about how smooth he’d been on a date the night before. I couldn’t stop laughing at Roger falling over himself, not even when I noticed one of the press cameras turned toward me in the locker room.

And that was all it took for me to end up in Coach Lou’s office this afternoon, a place I never, ever wanted to be. Because it didn’t matter that Lou had taken me under his wing the day he’d spotted me as a high school football player, and it didn’t matter that I’d been to his home a million times, often having dinner with Lou and his wife, even going so far as to spend major holidays with them from time to time.

Lou wasn’t exactly known for being merciful, not even when it came to friends and family. He was fair in his own way, a lot more like a judge than a father figure if someone was unlucky enough to end up in a situation just like this.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Hunter?” Lou started as he stared at me from behind his desk. “Are you trying to fuck things up for yourself? What? Are things going too good for you and you decided you wanted to shake things up?”

“No, I just—”

“You, Hunter Perry, are supposed to be the quarterback with a heart of gold,” Lou reminded me, his head shaking back and forth. “People like you so much they want you to kiss their babies, for Christ’s sake. And here you are, making fun of boy cheerleaders—”

“I didn’t make fun of anybody—”

“Hold on. One second.” Coach Lou held up a finger before pulling out his phone. He then began to read from the screen, “After Green Knight kicker, Brandon Guthrie, was asked whether or not he agreed with the NFL allowing male cheerleaders onto the field, Brandon replied, and I quote, ‘No offense to the boys, but I don’t really want to see guys on the field, at the end of the day. I mean, guys should stick to guy stuff, right? Why are they trying to be cheerleaders? Plus, I like seeing a pretty face when I’m done. I like seeing a pretty face when I win. If they let guys be part of the cheering squads, I’ll probably lose because I won’t have anything to look forward to.”

“Lou, just let me explain—”

“Quarterback Hunter Perry has gone viral for his response to Brandon’s comments, his laughter loudly heard right after Brandon finished speaking,” Lou interrupted as he finished reading the article.

“I didn’t even hear what the guy said!” I pressed. “Seriously, Lou. I wasn’t laughing about Brandon’s shitty comments. I was laughing at something Roger was doing—”

“It doesn’t matter if you were laughing at what Brandon said or not,” Lou cut me off. “All that matters is that people think

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