wanted some reminder of the adventurous child I never had a chance to be. He fit the bill perfectly.” My fingers softly skimmed the surface of where the tattoo lay; the warmth of his skin beneath me matched the tenderness spreading in my heart.
“Who took care of you?” The question was meant to be kept to myself, but it didn’t stay that way.
His thumb caressed my cheek. “The same person who took care of you.”
“I took care of myself.”
“Exactly.” Oh. My stomach dropped and I looked down. I didn’t know how many more heart wrenching moments I could handle.
“How old were you when you got it?” I asked, trying to switch gears yet again.
“Seventeen.”
“It’s beautiful. Do you have a favorite?” I know I sure as hell couldn’t choose a favorite from his marvelous collection.
“That’s an easy one.” He smirked as he shifted his body so I could see the side and upper area of his left arm and shoulder. The spectacular image emerged from the red, orange, yellow and blue coloring to reveal a remarkably exquisite Phoenix. The bird was beautiful but strong and now that I knew it was there, I could see the way it stood out among the rest.
“Corey, it’s incredible,” I breathed, still in awe at the most beautiful piece of artwork I’d ever seen.
“Yeah, the guy did a great job. That one is my baby.”
“You said all of your tattoos mean something. So, what does the Phoenix mean?” I held his arm, continuously turning it around to see the bird from all angles.
“The Phoenix rises from its own ashes and picks itself up after a fire has destroyed the life it knew.”
“Have you had to do that?” It was then I noticed the pain behind Corey’s eyes. It wasn’t just the loss of a father— there was more devastation locked away in this man. That was the reason I was drawn to him. A connection so deep ran between us and I couldn’t stay away—we were both haunted by our pasts.
“After high school I sort of lost control of myself. I did things I’m not proud and became a person I vowed never to be. Everything in my life was up in flames and took me right along with it. I had a choice: to fight like hell and get my life back or give up. I chose to fight.”
Through the silence, I let the words sink in. Corey watched my expression as I processed all he said. I couldn’t stand the space between us any longer and crawled into his lap. We were inches apart, my hands cupped the sides of his face; he watched my every movement, not daring to say a word and break the moment.
“I’m glad you decided to fight.” Without waiting for a response, my mouth found his. I was hoping that I could take away the pain in the only way I knew how. Thankfully, Corey seemed more than willing to have another session of mind-numbing sex to rid the demons of our pasts.
* * * *
Corey laced up his shoes as I sat cross-legged on my couch watching. After our second round, I not-so-subtly told him it was time to go. He huffed and puffed but gave in, just as I knew he would. He wanted to be around but not so much that it would push us to argue more about it. Through my apology I hoped he saw just how serious I was. Corey’s company was something I loved but I wasn’t ready for this. At least not just yet. There were weights holding me down and I feared that the moment I let Corey in completely—everything would come crashing down around me. Then I would lose one of the only people that I could be myself around and I couldn’t risk that.
“Okay, I’ve decided—I shared a personal part of my life with you, so I want one in return. Give me something, Dani, even a small reason why you are so determined to keep me out of your bed at night.”
“Corey…” I started my general protest, but Corey wasn’t having it. He crossed the room and knelt down in front of where I sat, cupping my face delicately between his hands.
“Please, Dani. Just tell me something.”
Why this man was so determined to know more about me and my past was a mystery. I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a first. It was that look in his face though, the one so determined to