The Flame Game (Magical Romantic Comedies #12) - R.J. Blain Page 0,16
brothers to implement it.”
“Is it weird that I love the Devil?” I asked. “He’s just pure fun wrapped up in complete and total naughtiness. Plus, he likes cindercorns!”
Quinn bowed his head. “You do not need any aphrodisiacs, Bailey.”
“Like hell I don’t.” I went on guard and warded my husband away with two fingers. “Stay back, fiend. You shall not pass or take away my playtime with your grandfather. Back, you!”
“You ran across the entire United States because you weren’t getting enough sleep, my beautiful. This would not help with that problem.”
“I do not need nor want help with that problem today or for the next few days. Babysitters, Sam. We have babysitters. Babysitters.”
My husband laughed. “If you’re really sure. You’re biting off more than you can chew, but I’m not going to stop you if you really want to participate in this insanity,” he warned.
“We can open presents while you’re catching your breath,” I taunted, well aware he’d view my words as a challenge and do his best to make sure he won.
When he won, I won, and once we returned to work, we would have limited time where it was just us, and I intended to enjoy every minute of it. Of course, I expected he’d make me pay for mouthing off.
What a way to go.
“You’re playing with fire,” Quinn warned with his sexiest smirk.
Evil man. “I can play with the cranky gorgons if I want to, and you can’t stop me.”
Archambault rolled his eyes, and his coral snakes jockeyed for position to win the rights to get in petting and cuddling time with me. To make the serpents happy, I took my time greeting them all, giving them kisses on their little noses.
“She’s going to teach everyone it’s a good idea to kiss gorgons if she keeps that up,” my husband complained.
“They will be educated on why this isn’t a good idea, do not worry. It will involve some young human lady wishing to have a good evening with her gentleman getting a nip on the nose for her troubles. Then I will teach them only members of a gorgon’s family may be so familiar with us.”
“Bailey would be pulling that crap even if you weren’t my grandfather,” my husband replied.
While he was right, I sighed over his insistence on spilling my dark, dirty secrets.
Somehow, probably from overexposure to my husband, I’d developed a keen enjoyment of cuddling up to gorgons and their snakes. “Just no bile I have to clean up, please.”
“Bile is definitely unpleasant, and I’ll just stay back here, if you please,” my husband said, taking enough steps back his grandfather couldn’t spit on him even if he tried.
“It’s not like your dirty secret isn’t already out, you know. Janet saw you.”
“I really did,” the cop in question said, and she wormed through the crowd and waved at me, dragging Amanda, my self-defense instructor and another cop, along with her. “I have brought a sacrifice.”
“You brought a walking bruise generator,” I grumbled.
Amanda grinned at me. “We’ll be back to making bruises in January, never you fear. I was recruited to be the referee, and I get to direct you in offensive tactics to conquer your grandfather-in-law.”
I liked the sound of that, but as I didn’t want to get nipped by a snake prematurely, I continued making sure all of my grandfather’s snakes were content. “Just call him my grandfather, as it gets to be a mouthful if we try to keep everybody straight. Quinn’s family is crazy, second only to the craziness that is my family. And he’s only partially crazy, because his family’s craziness starts with his grandfather. Mine started at conception. I have decided I’m the best parasite.”
“You’re hardly a parasite,” Janet replied.
“Oh, I’m not just a parasite. I’m the best parasite.”
My husband sighed and bowed his head. “Just because your human parents are assholes doesn’t make you a parasite, Bailey.”
“I’m the best parasite, Quinn. I successfully inhabited the womb of my host, leeching all of her nutrients until birth, where their attempts to get rid of me were thwarted by my badass self. I am the definition of what it is to be a parasite. Non-beneficial to my host, totally beneficial to me. But I was somewhat benevolent. She survived pregnancy. I didn’t burst out of her stomach or anything.” I gave the final coral snake a kiss before striding to my husband and prodding him in the chest. “And now I’m leeched onto you, and you can’t get rid of me.”