coughed, suddenly shy again, the way only Jimmy could make me.
I expected his eyes to rake me up and down—I wanted them to. The desire to feel desirable to him came over me again like it had in the mall. To be pretty for him. But his dark brown eyes never left my face. They held mine with an intensity that stole my breath.
“I like the real you, Thea,” he said. “I always have. Doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.”
My fingers on the chain-link squeezed as another flush of heat swept through me.
“You keep saying things like that, Jimmy and I’ll…” I sighed. “Nothing, actually. I can’t do anything from behind this fence. Quite the metaphor.”
I gave the fence a shake. It rattled, and Jimmy flinched from the sound.
“Oh, I’m sorry—”
“It’s n-n-nothing,” he said. “Bad memories. I got thrown against a lot of chain-link fences in high school. The sound of it stuck with me, I guess.”
“Then I hate this fence even more,” I said, wanting to touch him softly. To soothe away the hard memories. “I hate that I’m on this side and you’re on that side. You’re free and I’m trapped in here. I’m awake and alive and in the exact same place I’ve been for two years.”
“I know,” he said.
“Well?”
He glanced around. “Watch out,” he said, then tossed his motorcycle helmet over to my side. It landed a few feet from me. Jimmy scaled the eight-foot fence, kicked his boots on the top, then dropped easily down on my side. I could smell his cologne and the leather of his jacket
“Better?” he asked.
“Not really. I’d rather you’d have lowered a rope made out of sheets tied together and hauled me out on that side. Neither of us belongs here.”
He squinted, his gaze taking in the grounds and the sunlight spilling over the grass.
“I’m late for work.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You want to go for a walk later?”
I cocked my head. “Is that the Blue Ridge Sanitarium version of a date?”
Unfazed, he shook his head. “Dating isn’t allowed.”
“Do you always play by the rules?”
His mouth was grim. “When your safety is on the line? Yeah, I do.”
“What does my safety have to do with you and me on a date?” I gave him a flirty smile. “Are you dangerous?”
I already knew the answer to that. To anyone who would hurt me, Jimmy was dangerous. But not to me. Never to me.
“They want to keep an eye on you a little longer.”
My smile collapsed. “And I should be reasonable and just go along with it, but I feel like I’m squandering this gift I’ve been given every second I’m in here.”
“I know, but it was hard for us too,” he said. “Hard for Delia, I mean. Seeing you trapped in that five-minute loop. The absence seizures.”
“But everything’s different now. I’m here. I’m awake.”
He looked about to say something, then changed his mind.
“She got to you, didn’t she?” I asked. “What did she say?”
“She told me I shouldn’t take advantage of you. And she’s right. It’s not professional. It’s…”
“Wrong? Because I’m a mental patient who can’t make decisions for herself? And let me guess, she threatened to have you fired.”
He nodded.
The fight started to ebb out of me. “Honestly, part of me wants you to get fired. So you’ll go back to school and follow your dreams. You’re not trapped here, Jimmy. You can leave at any time.”
He shook his head. “Someone has to watch out for you.”
Another flush of warmth surged through me. “I don’t need protection anymore.”
“I know,” he said. “But for so long it’s what I’ve been d-d-doing…” He broke off, carved his hand through his hair and took a step away from me. “Goddamn, this f-f-fucking stutter…”
I pulled him back to me. “You only stutter when something is important to you.”
Jimmy nodded, his brown eyes darkening. “You’re important to me.”
He stepped closer and I felt the pull between us, inevitable and potent. My body trembled now, wanting his touch so badly. I’d been so cavalier about being held by him a few days ago, but things between us felt deeper. More. Touching him now would be different.
It would be everything…
“You’ve been important to me for a long time,” I said. “I’ve always felt close to you, Jimmy. No… connected. Do you feel it too?”
“Yeah, I do.” His hand came up and his thumb brushed my chin and then slid along my cheek. “I shouldn’t be doing this.”