I was shaking my head. “I meant, for two years, you dealt with them being gone alone. And me. I was gone too.”
Delia straightened, dabbed her eyes with a Kleenex from her purse, shifting back into her business mode. “I did what I had to do. And I wasn’t…”
“What?”
She patted my hand. “Sleep now. We’ll talk more later.”
“We have lots to talk about now, don’t we?”
Her smile was stiff as she left, quietly closing the door behind her. Memories of my parents—thousands of them—swarmed up at once, bursting through as if making up for being barricaded for so long.
I curled into a ball on my side, like a burnt leaf, and cried until my stomach ached. I wished Delia hadn’t left. Maybe I could call Rita in. I didn’t want to be alone. So fucking exhausted by it. I wanted to be touched. Human contact. Someone to hold on to so that I didn’t slide back into oblivion.
I want Jimmy.
My lungs sucked in a huge breath. Just thinking of him brought relief. With tears drying on my cheeks, my sobs hiccupping, and grief a heavy stone in my heart, I slept because Jimmy was there. I listened to his voice. I felt his arms around me.
He was all there, in my memory.
Chapter 20
Jim
When I walked into the break room at seven the next morning, Alonzo and Rita were there, wearing identical, bemused smiles.
“Shut up,” I said, turning to hide my own smile in my locker.
Alonzo chuckled. “Glad to see you’ve come to your senses.”
“I’m only here because…”
“It made Thea so happy?” Rita finished. “Good enough answer for me.”
“She wasn’t happy long,” Alonzo said.
I turned around. “What do you mean?”
“Delia told her about their parents.”
“Shit.”
“Poor thing.” Rita checked her watch. “I want to be there when she wakes up.” She started out the door then stopped. “Jim, would you take her on her FAE today?”
I frowned, even as my stupid heart leaped at the idea. “She’s back on a regular sanitarium schedule?”
“For now,” Rita said. “Dr. Chen wants to integrate her back into life slowly.”
“Delia’s not going to allow me anywhere near her.”
Rita gave an arched smile. “It’s not up to Delia anymore now, is it? I’ll ask Thea what she wants.” Her eyebrow waggled. “And if she says she wants you…?”
Jesus, Rita.
“Yeah, okay,” I said, my skin heating. “I can take her. But only if you square it with Delia too.”
“Right,” Alonzo said, chuckling. “Jim didn’t rescind his bullshit resignation just so Delia Hughes could fire his ass. Am I right or am I right?”
I glared at him, but he only laughed harder. “You can’t blame me for giving you a hard time,” he said, standing up. “I’m too relieved you’re still here.”
I kept my expression blank, so he couldn’t see how deeply his words sank. Thea wasn’t the only reason I was staying at Blue Ridge, though the way she looked at me yesterday… Christ, I nearly kissed her. Because she looked as if she were waiting for me to. Wanting me to.
I shut the locker door.
I stayed because I wanted a conversation with her that lasted longer than five minutes. And I stayed because if I left, I’d lose Alonzo and Rita and Joaquin too. Too many hits I couldn’t take.
This is bad, I thought, heading to the dining room to help Mr. Webb with breakfast. I need to be able to walk away at any time. Keep my head down. Do my job…
But somewhere over the last few weeks, keeping my head down and doing my job was no longer enough.
Around one o’clock, Rita grabbed me in the hallway outside the dining room. “Thea’s ready for her walk. She asked for you specifically.”
I swallowed my heart that was apparently trying to climb out of my chest. “She did?”
Rita nodded. “Like I said, she has free will now. Delia threw a fit, but she had to go back to Richmond at least until tomorrow afternoon.” She inclined her head toward the dining room. “Thea’s in there, finishing lunch. Heads-up, she’s having a rough day.”
That’s all I needed to hear. I went inside. Thea sat a table by herself, in beige pants and a plain white T-shirt. Remnants of lunch in front of her. Her eyes were puffy and red, but a smile found its way to her lips when I approached.
“Hi,” she said, her voice raw from crying. “How long has it been?”