A tsunami of emotion raged in me, my limbs vibrated with it.
Alonzo put his hand on my arm. “Come on, Jim. Let’s take a breather. It’s been a tough day for all.” He looked at Roger. “We’ll take some time and regroup when everyone’s had a chance to consider what’s best for Miss Hughes, yes?”
Roger nodded, and his sympathetic expression kept me from flying into a rage and tearing down the goddamn walls of this place.
And then Delia gave me a parting glance. One I’d seen Doris wear a hundred times. A smug, triumphant look that said I was a fucking moron and she held all the cards and always would.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “I promised Thea I’d stay and I’m staying.”
Security grabbed my arms and started dragging me back.
“Let go,” I raged, struggling within their grip. “Get the fuck off of me.”
“Hey, easy,” Alonzo shouted.
All the raised voices became muted and distant as I fought to break free. To get to Thea at any cost. “I swore to her, Delia,” I shouted. “Do n-n-not let her wake up alone. You better fucking not let her wake up alone.”
I tore one arm free and jabbed my elbow into a guard’s face.
“Okay, that’s it.” The other guard slammed me against the wall. Pain reverberated up my cheek. My arms were wrenched behind me, my shoulder sockets screaming, and then I was on the floor, a knee on my back, pinning me down. They slipped plastic ties around my wrists and hauled me to my feet.
Delia gave a final parting glare at the door of Thea’s room.
I said nothing as the security guards dragged me down the hall. I had no words left. I was slammed into a chair in an office. Time slipped out from under me as voices talked around my head. All I could think was that I’d failed Thea. She was going to wake up and I wouldn’t be there.
Eventually, someone hauled me to my feet, someone else shoved me out the front doors into the bright sunlight and muggy heat of a waning summer afternoon. It took a second to realize I was free.
“You okay?” Alonzo stood with my duffel bag and guitar case strapped over his shoulders. Rita must have taken them from the hospital van.
“No, I am not okay.”
“Dumb question. Let me rephrase: you going to behave yourself now?”
I said nothing.
He knocked a cigarette from a battered pack and offered me one. I shook my head.
“I know nothing’s okay right now,” he said. “But at least you didn’t get yourself arrested.” He took a drag from his smoke.
I sank onto a nearby bench. He sat with me.
“I know this is killing you,” he said, “but you have to go home now. Get some rest.”
“I can’t go home.” My numbness started to crack. “I can’t leave her, Alonzo.”
“You have to, Jim. For now. We’ll see what happens later.”
“Thea doesn’t have a later.”
Our eyes met, and he sighed. “I know.” He put his arm around me, pulling me into his embrace. I resisted at first then sagged against him.
“I got you, son,” he said. “I got you.”
I closed my eyes and let him carry what I couldn’t, at least for a few minutes. After a time, I straightened, wiped my eyes on my shoulder. “My truck is in New York.”
“I’ll give you a lift.”
He drove me to my house in Boones Mill and stayed. We drank a couple of beers and talked the hours away until the exhaustion started to drag at me.
“I’m going back to the hospital,” he said, getting to his feet. “Keep your phone handy. If anything changes, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.”
We shook hands and then he patted my cheek. “You’re a good man, Jim. One of the best.”
His words bounced off my failure. I’d broken my promise to Thea. Nothing was good in that.
Despite the fatigue, I lay awake, my nerves lit up. I kept my phone close, waiting, but no messages came. I got up and drank another beer.
Still nothing.
Go down there. Break in. Fight for her.
And get arrested for sure.
I needed to be close to Thea or I’d go fucking crazy. I started to open my guitar case but froze with my thumbs on the latches. I