here with her, another with me in Dublin. I don’t want my mind to go there, the murder, the card but… if he’s capable of that, what else could he be keeping secret?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Something is bothering me, chipping away even further at my serenity. But I’m not sure what it is. It’s something I heard earlier, something Maggie said.
Placing Shay into the crib, I walk to the window and pull back the curtain. I can see a glow through the trees in the distance. Pat must be up. Probably spent the evening sleeping off the drink and now finds he’s wide awake. I wonder what it was Maggie didn’t like about the man. I know walking in and out of the house without knocking would do it for me, but people are different down here. It’s not unusual for someone to help themselves to their neighbour’s hospitality.
There are times I can’t believe I’m here, shrouded in someone else’s family. I still feel like an intruder, but as times goes on, it’s getting easier. I must listen to what Amanda says. I deserve it, it’s my time now. The past is exactly that and there is no reason to go and visit it.
Amanda has always been my best friend. Sisters don’t always get on like we do. We share everything, including secrets. She stood by me when I needed her most. I’m not sure I’d have kept going if she hadn’t been by my side.
I remember the day we packed up my belongings for the big escape to the country. I cried the whole time, fearful that Amanda would be lonely without me. Knowing I was going to miss her company. Her laughing. The nights we’d sit up talking until there was literally nothing left to say.
She sat beside me in court. The second worst day of my life. I remember how Amanda hugged me when the judge spoke. The relief, evident on her face and in the tears we shed.
Leaving Amanda was hard but her happiness for my new situation eased the burden. And anyway, I’m used to hard.
I drop the curtain and get back into bed. The heat from Conor’s body is so comforting, cloaking me with safety and—that’s it. I remember now. Maggie. That’s what’s been bothering me. She said she never spoke to Vicky except for the few times she was in the pub. I remember her exaggerating the word ‘few.’ But I had seen her with Vicky, the day I braved the terrible weather and walked to the village.
* * *
Three weeks had passed since I’d set up home here and I was still waiting for the delivery of the new car Conor bought me as a present on my wedding day. I had bought him a pair of cufflinks!
The rain had eased off by the time I reached the village. With very few people to be seen, I remember thinking, God, how am I going to survive here? What will I do all day?
Conor encouraged me to leave work as soon as I moved here, and I hadn’t put up a fight. The thought of commuting to Dublin every day hadn’t appeal to me. I had been planning to leave as soon as the baby arrived anyway, so a few months earlier wouldn’t make a difference. It would give me a chance to settle in. To get to know everyone.
It had taken no more than five minutes to walk the length of the village, by which time I’d arrived at the church. Praying wasn’t something I’d ever subscribed to but I soon realised if I was going to survive here, I’d have to get myself some new hobbies.
The church grounds had been empty, eerie, not a sound to be heard but the splashing of my feet in a rather large puddle that had gathered by the entrance gate. Having braved the moat, I had continued towards the church door and had been about to enter when I saw two people huddled by a marble Virgin Mary in the graveyard to my left. Maggie was one of them. What was she doing in the graveyard in this brutal weather talking to Vicky, the barmaid from Hedigan’s? I had recognized Vicky from being in the bar with Conor a few days earlier. She’d gone out of her way to introduce herself to me. But why had Maggie handed her something which Vicky had quickly shoved in her pocket? It had all looked pretty suspicious to me, cloak