it – to celebrate Vicky’s life. Conor is standing a few yards away from me, deep in conversation with a few other people. His hands are in his pockets, his head lowered. He’s kicking the stones below his feet. When he feels the raindrops, he grabs the arms of the two men by his side and says his goodbyes.
‘Are you coming?’ he says, approaching me. ‘It’s going to lash.’
‘Coming where? Are we not going home?’
‘There he is. I’ll see you down there,’ Abbie says, walking off to where Noel is standing talking to someone. Conor takes my hand and we both follow the crowd out of the graveyard.
‘We have to go in for a few minutes, Laura. Show our respects.’
‘I don’t. You go. I want to get back to Shay.’
‘Ten minutes, a quick cuppa and then we’ll head home. Amanda said he’s grand, didn’t she?’
‘Yes, but…’
Before I know it, I’m standing in Hedigan’s, squashed between a pillar and an old man sitting on a stool, drinking whiskey. Conor is in a queue for tea. I’m not drinking alcohol at this hour of the day, not with Shay to care for.
‘Your coat is lovely.’ The old man looks up at me, raising his glass. I guess he wants me to reply.
‘Thank you.’
‘Did you know Vicky?’
‘Not well. I’m Conor’s wife, he knew her well.’
‘Conor…?’
‘Conor Caldwell.’
‘Oh, that fella.’ He tuts before turning his back to me.
And there was I thinking I’d married God. Turns out, not everyone thinks so.
Conor arrives back balancing a cup of tea on a saucer in one hand and a pint of Guinness in the other. I’m not going to question his choice of beverage; if he wants to stay here all day he can. I’m going home after I drink my tea.
‘There’s sandwiches up there but I couldn’t get near them.’
‘I’m fine, I’ll have something when I get home.’
I want to ask him who the old man on the stool is but Olive has arrived beside us and is talking shop, which makes me feel like the outsider that I am, standing here, looking pretty in my posh coat and high heels. I imagine some of these people think of me as a trophy wife. The girl from the big city. But I’m just trying to fit in a bit more.
I listen as Conor and Olive discuss some important issue about the brewery that just can’t wait. I wish I understand what they are saying so I can join in, even nod in agreement, but I can’t. I haven’t a clue about the business except that it exists. From now on, I’m going to ask Conor more about what goes on there.
Abbie and Noel are walking over. What will Olive do now? Noel is carrying a pint; Abbie has what looks like a gin and tonic. A part of me would love to get stuck into a session. It’s been so long since I actually sat and laughed with a group of people. Today would have been the ideal situation to get to know more of the locals, let them get to know me. Leaving so soon is going to make me look like I don’t want to be here. I know what they’ll say, headed by Georgina no doubt, ‘That city girl, thinks she’s too good for our company.’ How wrong can people be? The truth is, I crave their company. I want to belong here. To make a life here with Conor and Shay. I want people to like me, to talk to me. Not to judge me. I want the opposite to what I left behind.
‘What a crowd,’ Abbie says, shoving her small body in between two tall men who are standing beside us. On hearing her voice, Olive’s head jerks to the side. Conor is still talking but Olive isn’t listening. Abbie pushes in beside her.
‘How are you, Olive? I’m so sorry, I know she was a good friend of yours.’ If Abbie noticed what I noticed in the church she’s choosing to ignore it. Olive nods her head, but her eyes are peeled to what’s going on behind Abbie. She must be looking to see if Noel is coming up behind her. Conor starts to chat again, this time about Vicky, but Olive looks nervous all of a sudden. Noel has come into view.
‘I’ll see you later,’ she says to Conor, stepping closer to me before saying, ‘I hope you don’t think I’m being rude but I want to catch Vicky’s mum before