Five Little Words - Jackie Walsh Page 0,103
hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I must do it. I have no more room for secrets, dragging me down. Keeping me afraid and wrapping me in guilt. I’m a mother now and this time I’m going to be the best mother a little boy could have.
Chapter Seventy
ONE YEAR LATER
‘Careful, Shay.’
Shay is making his first attempt to crawl up the stairs. I’m behind him, hands outstretched, ready to catch him if he falls. In the background the radio blares as I wait eagerly for the news to air. It’s been over a year and they’re sentencing her today. Manslaughter. Eight long years, the solicitor reckons. I wanted to go to the court to be with her but Amanda didn’t want me there.
‘Good boy, Shay,’ I sing, encouraging his progress.
In the distance, my phone rings but I ignore it. Shay’s journey is more important. He giggles each time he reaches the next step. I wish Conor was here to see his little boy climb his first mountain.
We’ve all been climbing mountains since Amanda was arrested. Seeing her in custody is heartbreaking. Amanda had gone to Vicky’s apartment to protect me and I gave the detective her name. At first she wouldn’t talk to me, but eventually, after a few visits, she told me what happened.
A few days before she was killed, Vicky contacted Amanda about a piece she was writing, Ballycall’s newest arrival, for the Ballycall Journal. Amanda became suspicious when she asked if it was my first baby and agreed to meet her with some photos of me as a child, to enhance the story. Amanda confronted Vicky and discovered she had been right. Vicky was going to print the story about my past which she’d dug up on some newspaper archives site. Amanda begged her not to but Vicky wouldn’t give in and told her to leave or she’d call the police. Amanda walked towards the door. She could see everything falling apart, I could lose Shay and she wasn’t going to let that happen to me, again. She turned around and in one mad moment of uncontrollable anger, she grabbed a knife from the countertop and stabbed Vicky.
Tears rolled down her pale face as she told her story. Her hair was scraped back into a ponytail. Dark rings circled her sunken eyes. The glamorous city girl look was gone. Replaced with a prison tracksuit and a broken heart.
I reached out to touch her hand. ‘I’m sorry, Amanda.’ My whisper, barely audible through my tears.
‘No,’ she said, lifting her eyes to look at me. ‘I’m sorry.’
* * *
‘Daddy will be home soon, Shay.’ I watch my little boy turn his head to look at the door.
‘Da Da.’
‘Yes, Da Da.’ I scoop him in my arms, nuzzle into his belly and carry him back down the narrow stairs of our cosy two-bedroom house.
It’s a lot different to Ballycall. The sound of traffic replaces the birdsong and no one lives at the end of our tiny garden.
Pat is still in the cottage apparently, even though the house is up for sale. Maggie keeps us up to date with all the goings-on. At first she wasn’t happy when Conor told her he was leaving the brewery to study astronomy. And still, even now, each time she visits she comments on how hard it must be to live in such a small space, having been used to such luxury. I want to answer by saying nowhere is as small as Ballycall, but Conor always winks at me, keeping me quiet and making me smile.
It was hard for Maggie, having to come to terms with the news about Vicky. If she suspected Seamus of being unfaithful, she didn’t say. Let bygones be bygones is Maggie’s motto, though she still gets the odd dig in about Amanda. The outsider who brought murder to the village. I’ve learned to let it wash over me. To concentrate on the good things. Conor, Shay, the sun shining.
With Shay in his highchair sucking a carrot stick, I chop the cilantro and put the finishing touches to the couscous.
‘Who’s this coming?’ I say, hearing the front door open.
The carrot stick is dropped. Shay looks at the door. He smiles with arms outstretched when Conor walks in.
Conor is wearing torn jeans, a t-shirt and hasn’t shaved today. He’s determined to make a claim on his student years. He drops his satchel to the ground and kisses me before taking Shay out of the chair.
Moving away from the village was the best thing that ever happened to Conor. He left behind a past he’d never wanted for a future that is his own. He still sees Noel quite a bit. Abbie dumped Noel when she found out about the photos and Noel and Olive are now together. I’m happy for Olive. She got her man and now she’s sitting in Conor’s office at the brewery.
‘Are you hungry?’ I say, placing lamb chops into the sizzling pan. Shay points at the rising steam with excitement in his eyes.
‘Starving,’ Conor says, a touch of city lingo creeping into his words.
He lifts Shay into the air, piloting him across the room. Lifting a spoon to scrape some yoghurt from a tub, I watch Shay’s face light up and hear my phone ringing again.
‘Who could that be?’ I say.
‘Do you want me to get it?’ Conor says.
‘Yeah, see who it is.’
Conor puts Shay back into the highchair then takes my phone from the table.
‘No contact name, just a number,’ he says, swiping it open before I have a chance to tell him not to.
‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Yes, she’s here, hang on.’
‘Who is it?’ I mouth silently, to which Conor shrugs his shoulders.
Wiping my hands on some kitchen roll, I take the phone from him.
The voice is low. Nervous. But I recognise it immediately.
‘Mam.’
A letter from Jackie
Dear reader,
Sincere thanks for reading my third novel, Five Little Words. I’m grateful to you for sharing your precious time with Laura, Conor and the folks of Ballycall.
If you enjoyed it, I would love to hear your thoughts via a review. Knowing what you think of the story is important to me.
This story is not true and all the characters are fictional.
To those of you who have already read my first two books, Familiar Strangers and The Secrets He Kept, I thank you for your support and reviews.
You are welcome to contact me with any questions or comments at anytime. I’m available on Facebook and Twitter.
Best Wishes
Jackie Walsh
https://twitter.com/JackieWalsh_ie
https://www.facebook.com/jackiewalsh.ie/
Acknowledgements
Many thanks to my publishers at Hera Books, Keshini Naidoo and Lindsey Mooney. Thank you for having faith in me and for your continued hard work and guidance.
To those who have supported my journey so far, in particular, those who read Familiar Strangers and The Secrets He Kept. Your kind words of support and great reviews are truly appreciated. Every positive word you send my way, pushes me on.
To my writer friends who have encouraged me along the way, Patricia Gibney, Louise Phillips, Niamh Brennan, Grainne Daly. Andrea Carter, Declan Burke, Conor Kostick, Vanessa Fox O’Loughlin and many more. Marie Brennan, thank you for your help and hard work.
To my family and friends, whose support I am extremely grateful for. The girls in Lollipops, who’ve risen to the challenge of these difficult times. Well done ladies, and thank you.
For the people I meet on the street, Pat, neighbours, friends who stop to tell me they’ve enjoyed my book. Every word of encouragement cheers me on.
Paul, Layla, continued love.
First published in the United Kingdom in 2020 by Hera
Hera Books
28b Cricketfield Road
London, E5 8NS
United Kingdom
Copyright © Jackie Walsh, 2020
The moral right of Jackie Walsh to be identified as the creator of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781912973521
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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