‘I was in your cottage earlier Pat. I’m sick of your allegations. Conor has been arrested because of you. Now tell me. What is going on? Why are you giving money to Vicky’s mother? Was Vicky your daughter?’
Pat jerks back in the chair. ‘No. No,’ he says. ‘Not my daughter.’
I could feel my heart thumping against my ribs. Blood rushing around my body. ‘Whose daughter was she?’ I say. Pat turns his head and looks out the window. I fear he might shut up again so I persist. ‘Whose daughter Pat?’ He turns around. There’s a look. I can see it in his eyes. Pat knows if he answers my question, everything is going to change.
‘Seamus’s. Vicky was Seamus’s daughter.’
I’m trying not to act too overwhelmed by this revelation but I’m pretty sure I’m not pulling it off. My mouth won’t close. My eyes won’t blink. Vicky was Conor’s sister. It all makes sense now, why Pat thinks Conor killed Vicky. For the brewery, just like he killed his father. Pat must think Conor knew Vicky was his sister but Conor didn’t know. Well, I’m presuming he didn’t, but the way things are unfolding I wouldn’t be surprised if he did know, if the whole world knew about it. Am I the only fool in this village who believes what they’re told? But no. Conor couldn’t have known. Could he? And Maggie. Did she know?
‘Pat, did Conor know?’
He nods his head.
‘But…’ I can’t think straight, my head is filling with scenarios and suspicions. ‘What makes you think Conor knows?’
‘Vicky told him the night she was killed.’ Pat’s voice is very low and hard to hear but to me the words are loud, crashing into my head, smashing my world. Pat must see my stress. He pulls his chair closer to the table and starts to explain that Vicky found out the day she was killed that Seamus was her father. Pat himself told her. Seamus had left instructions in his will for Vicky to be told whenever Erin or Pat deemed it to be the right time. Pat knew Erin would never tell her. She never wanted Vicky to know. Pat had mulled over telling Vicky ever since Conor got married and with Vicky about to become an aunty, Pat had decided it was the right time. Vicky had to know. He was sick of keeping it from her and he was getting older. He didn’t want the secret to die with him.
The allowance Pat was getting from the brewery was not for himself like everyone thought, it was for Vicky. Now Pat is convinced Vicky told Conor that day and Conor killed her to keep the brewery for himself. Just like he killed his father.
‘But Vicky never got to speak to Conor,’ I say. ‘She sent him a text to contact her but he never answered it, he was busy at work and then I went into labour. He didn’t even see it.’
Pat pushes his chair back and stands. ‘Well he is going to say that, isn’t he?’
‘But what if he’s telling the truth Pat? Have you considered that? What if he didn’t get to speak to Vicky?’ Pat puts his cap on, straightens his back and stands. He has no interest in hearing my opinion.
‘Did Maggie know?’ I say.
Pat shakes his head. ‘No, Maggie never knew Vicky was Seamus’s child.’ He stops for a moment, staring into space. Is he only now considering all the people this affects? The damage revealing his secret will do. The damage it has already done.
He’s about to walk out the door when I remember the card.
‘Pat.’
He turns slowly, his eyes sad, his body tired.
‘Did you send me a card?’ I’m standing staring at him. My legs shaking. My trembling hands clenched tightly.
Pat sighs and turns back to walk out the door. ‘Someone had to warn you,’ he says, then steps out into the night.
Chapter Sixty-Eight
The lights from the village twinkle in the distance. I’m sitting in my bedroom at the window with Shay in my arms, feeding him his bottle. His eyes are still closed but he’s sucking away. I try not to cry with him in my arms. I don’t want him feeling my distress, the scent of my sadness seeping into his soul. This is my pain, my punishment, it has nothing to do with him.
There has been no news yet from the station. I rang but got no answer. Fintan needs to know about