I wonder whether I should tell him what happened, knowing that if I do, he is more than likely to go straight round there. I think better of it and let David off the hook, at least for the time being.
‘It was fine,’ I say. ‘It was a long time ago.’
‘So, no funny feelings in your tummy,’ he asks, teasingly.
‘Not on my part,’ I say honestly. ‘He’s old, bald and divorced, not an attractive proposition.’
‘I bet he took one look at you and rued the day he let you go.’
I throw him a withering look.
‘I mean it! I bet he’s thinking of you right now. He’s probably lying in his single bed, remembering all the things you used to do, pretending he’s doing them to you all over again.’
I shiver involuntarily. That’s too close to the truth to be funny.
‘Do you think we’ll get his business?’ he asks. ‘It might be a nice little earner on the side. Something that can run alongside the Japan project.’
‘I don’t know if it’s something we should do,’ I say. ‘We’ll have our hands pretty full with Japan, if we get it.’ I put the chopping board back. ‘So, come on, tell me, how did it go?’
‘Well,’ he starts, unable to keep the smile from his face, ‘I think it’s all looking pretty good.’
‘So, they liked what you showed them?’
He nods. ‘They loved it, but what’s not to love? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how good you are at what you do.’
‘What about the kitchen and bathrooms?’ I ask, excitedly. ‘Did they like the furniture choices?’
‘Yep, they thought they were inspired.’
I feel my chest rise, my pride instantly buoyed. ‘When do you think we’ll hear for definite? Did they give you any idea on timescales?’
I absently top up my red wine, almost filling an already oversized balloon glass to the brim.
He eyes me carefully. ‘All being well, they’re exchanging contracts next Monday and completing the week after. But they want to have a designer on board as soon as they exchange.’
Butterflies dance in my stomach at all the possibilities, whilst my brain tries its damnedest to keep myself from racing ahead.
‘How long will it take to build?’ I ask.
‘They’re looking to do it in two hits,’ he says. ‘The first phase will be completed in twelve months and the second will be around six months later. It’s a lot of work, Alice, and it’ll all come at you pretty quickly.’
‘It’s what I’ve been waiting for,’ I say. ‘This is it. This is the big one.’
He trails my jawline with his finger. ‘I only want to do this if you’re sure you can handle it. I can’t risk you having a relapse, so if you have any reservations, any at all, then you need to say.’
I remember a time, not so long ago, when the very thought of it would have had me running for the hills. A time when I was scared of my own shadow, let alone the one created by the black dog that seemed destined to be by my side forever more. Back then, I was so far down that hole that I even began to seek the darkness out, believing that it was my only true friend.
I could barely get out of bed, only doing so to deposit Sophia in the playground, before sloping back to hide under the duvet, where my thoughts would poison even the brightest of days. At three o’clock, I’d get up again and convince myself that no one would notice my stained joggers as I waited at the school gates, head down, trying to hide from anyone who was brave enough to look. Ironically, it might have only taken one person to show an interest for my faith in humanity to have been restored. But on the rare occasion I was looking, all I could see was embarrassment and avoidance. I knew I was being ridiculed and reviled, spoken about and ostracized, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything other than being a mother, and even then, I was barely functioning. Just thinking about it makes my breath come in short, sharp pants.
‘Are you sure you’re ready for this?’ asks Nathan again.
I nod my head, aggrieved at his lack of confidence in me, though I have to dig deep to find it myself. ‘I’m absolutely ready for this, Nathan. I’m not going back to where I was.’
‘Well, I’ll be here to help and give you all the support