nodded, adrenaline rushing through me, making my hands shake. I could barely hold the phone in my hand, let alone make a call.
‘Please be careful,’ I begged as he stepped into the darkness, whilst I waited on the front step, holding back tears.
The seconds turned into minutes as I watched lights going on one by one. When Tyson’s barking and whining eventually subsided, I knew Thomas must have reached him. I allowed myself to believe that if they were okay, it was okay. That maybe I’d just left the door open. Again.
I realized I’d been holding my breath when Thomas came back with a worrying grimace on his face.
‘I’m really sorry,’ he said, as my heart sank. ‘You’ve been burgled and it’s a bit of a mess. Tyson’s okay, a bit shaken up. Looks like he was shut in the kitchen – he’s nearly scratched the door to ribbons.’
Sobriety hit me like a sledgehammer.
He pulled me into him and kissed the top of my head. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I haven’t called the police yet,’ I said. ‘I was hoping it might be a false alarm.’
‘I’m afraid not,’ he said. ‘Tyson’s barking might have scared them off eventually. But I doubt they’d make such a mess and not take anything.’
‘Is it definitely safe?’
He nodded. ‘It looks like they came and went through the front door.’ He ran a finger down the door frame and I could see that it was splintered a little.
‘Bastards,’ I spat, before cautiously following him inside.
Nothing can prepare you for how it feels to have your home violated. To see all your personal possessions, things you’ve worked hard for, strewn across the floor. Every drawer was pulled out and upturned and every cupboard emptied in an attempt to find . . . what? It was a normal two-bedroom ground-floor flat, pretty basic, nothing special. But it was mine, and to know that someone had been in there, rifling through my letters, trawling through my underwear drawer and helping themselves to whatever took their fancy, made me feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
I fell to my knees on the floor where my jewellery box had been upended, too frightened to turn it over, in case I couldn’t see what I so desperately wanted to see. I forced myself to take a deep breath.
‘I’ve popped Tyson back in the kitchen until the rest of the flat is straightened out a bit,’ Thomas said as he entered the bedroom. ‘Are you okay?’
I nodded and counted to three in my head, psyching myself up. Please don’t do this to me, I prayed silently to whichever God was listening. If you’ll just make this okay, I promise I’ll come to church more.
‘Can you see if anything’s been taken?’ he asked gently as I turned over the box.
‘Yes,’ I sobbed, my heart breaking. ‘The necklace my dad gave me, his wedding ring, some earrings.’ I ran a hand over the carpet, willing my fingertips to feel the sentimental items I treasured. ‘The other stuff doesn’t matter, but my dad’s . . .’ I couldn’t hold back anymore.
‘Ssh, it’s okay,’ said Thomas as he knelt down on the floor and rocked me in his arms. ‘We’ll call the police, they might be able to get it back.’
‘No, no they won’t – they never do.’
‘They’ll try. Is there anything else?’
I stood up and rubbed at my head, trying to work the fury and frustration out. I couldn’t even remember what used to be there just a few hours before. Did I still have that fancy camera I treated myself to a couple of years ago? Or had I lent it to Maria? Was my laptop at home or at school? I couldn’t think straight.
The living room was even more of a mess; every piece of paper had seemingly been pulled out of the dresser, where I had developed my own haphazard filing system, and thrown onto the floor.
I looked around the sea of invoices, bills and payslips that lay at my feet. My mother’s will, which she had given me on the strict understanding I wasn’t to open it until she passed away, lay next to its ripped envelope. After twenty years of it being in my safekeeping, I’d allowed a stranger to come along and destroy that trust.
Even seeing the cards that the children from my class had made for me, lying forlornly on the floor, made me cry. Their bright colours and kind words so at odds with the sickening scenario they