waist high M&S specials my life, and emotions, will revert to normal.
‘And Noah was a bit concerned, said he was worried you’d got cystitis.’
Oh God, I will never revert to normal. ‘He didn’t!’
‘Maybe not, he was looking a bit lost and confused though. Not himself at all.’
‘Bea.’ I put a staying hand on her arm, just as she heads for the stairs. ‘It’s not just Noah.’
Maybe if Dad was that disgusted with me, he will have just barged out, back to his latest girlfriend. Nobody else will ever know he was here. Except me. That look will be branded on my brain forever.
‘What? Rosie, what is it? You look a bit … you don’t feel sick, do you? Shall we go back …’
‘I do feel sick, and I would like to go back in the bathroom.’ I take a deep breath. ‘Dad’s here.’
‘Your dad? Fuck me? Where?’
‘I don’t know! He was watching me, watching me …’ I can hardly breathe let alone speak, I think I might be hyperventilating. ‘Snog Noah!’ There, I’ve said it. I feel slightly better now it’s out in the open. ‘I’ve got to warn Mum. I don’t think she knows.’
‘I think she might.’ Bea’s voice is soft. We’re halfway down the stairs and we stop, and I follow her gaze.
Dad is holding court, centre stage with a large group of their friends around him. And Mum is standing quietly on the side-lines watching. Like she always does. A glass of champagne in her hand.
‘Oh look, cocktails!’ Bea grabs us both one, then slips her hand through my arm. Solidarity.
And then Dad spots us, and I just know he’s going to head me off and try and spoil my magical moment with Noah. He will douse it with disappointment and ruin it forever.
‘Bea, I need to …’
‘Here.’ She is already steering me away from my parents. ‘You need time to get your shit together before you talk to him.’
Chapter 24
Noah hasn’t let his concern for me spoil the party. He’s propping up the makeshift bar, talking to Laurie.
Laurie is the doctor’s daughter. She is five years younger than me, one foot taller and ten times more confident. She is also thinner. And never looks like she’s fallen asleep on her plate.
Natural she’s not. Coquettish she is. Now there’s a word I never thought I’d use.
He’s flirting: the casual hand movements, the leaning in, the grin, the way he tips his head on one side to listen properly. Oh yes, Noah has taught me well. I know the signs.
I can’t criticise him, he’s doing what comes as naturally as breathing to him. Charming the opposite sex – just like Dad has always done.
There’s a twinge in my chest. It aches, a physical hurt that makes my throat constrict. I’ve fallen for him. I know I have. Bea was nearly one hundred per cent correct, but not quite. I’m not falling for Noah Adams, I’ve already fallen for him. Hook, line and sinker.
Soon I’ll be in too deep, which means I’ve got to stop this right now. I’ve got to do what my mother didn’t. Turn away from the charm. Walk away. Not be like her.
I never want to be the girl who gets stood up on her wedding anniversary: getting stood up on a first date was bad enough.
Let’s face it, this is a man who doesn’t even believe in love. He’s not just a commitment-phobe, he genuinely believes it ruins lives.
The moment he spots me though he turns away from her and I can almost see him brace – ready for impact. Then he smiles tentatively. Bea nudges me, hard, with her elbow.
Oh heck, the man is heading my way. We’re on a collision course.
‘If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed.’ He twinkles at me.
‘Are you calling me a mountain?’ Keep this light, Rosie.
The twinkle fades. ‘Have I done something?’
Kissed me. Touched me. Done everything that some tiny part inside me wanted you to, but the sensible on the outside couldn’t cope with.
Yes, Noah, you have done something. It was amazing.
‘No.’ I smile.
‘That’s not a real Rosie smile! Come on, you’re avoiding me, which is a pretty awesome accomplishment in a back garden.’ He tries a grin again. But we both know it’s strained. ‘Why did you run?’ His tone has softened. I love the way he does that, the way he can make me feel like I’m important.