missing!’ He leans in a bit, puts his hand over mine. ‘See, it’s a bit like when you’ve said you’ll go to a gig to support a friend, but not actually had to pay for tickets. Easy to do a no-show!’
‘You’ve done that?’ I roll my eyes. ‘What a slimeball.’ A tiny glimmer of something positive warms me up inside. Noah seems to have that effect on me. ‘I’m just a ticket Gabe never had to pay for, and he thinks he’s spotted something better? Like a good film on TV?’ I grin.
Noah chuckles and shakes his head. ‘I didn’t say that! But I’m glad I made you smile.’
I glance at my phone. I can’t help myself. Just to make sure there isn’t a message.
‘Forget him.’ Noah booms out loud, slamming his hand onto the bar right next to my phone sending it skittering to the floor. ‘You’ve just found a better gig!’
I look at him and raise an eyebrow. There’s nothing wrong with Noah, he’s funny, but he’s not a date.
‘Okay,’ he puts his hands over his face, but is peeking through, ‘you can’t forget him, it’s too early.’ He does a fake sob.
‘God, you are such a clown!’ I laugh.
‘Go on then, tell me about this …’
‘Gabe.’
‘Gabe. If it helps. Not that I think he’s worth even thinking about, and not that I want to hear about the stupid twat, but if it’s going to help.’
I frown. ‘Maybe it won’t help. It’s not actually Gabe that’s the important thing. You’re right he’s not worth bothering about.’
‘No?’ He looks confused.
‘It was the date. I just needed a date!’
‘Why the urgency?’ He suddenly grins. ‘It’s a bet! I get it, you’ve bet a mate you can hook him!’
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘Who would do something like that?’
He shrugs, looks a bit sheepish.
‘God, you’re impossible. You’ve done that as well, haven’t you?’
He doesn’t answer. ‘Okay, you did it cos you need a hot date for some party! Am I right? You can’t go on your own because your ex will be there?’
I sigh. ‘I thought you’d given up on thinking you were right? No, it’s not for a bet, not for a party, I just …’ I pause, then lean in a bit closer to him. He’s got very nice eyes. I think I’m a bit drunk. I have to be drunk or I wouldn’t be leaning in or telling him this stuff. ‘I haven’t had a date for ages and ages; I’ve not even had sex for ages! Well I’ve not touched a man, apart from you, of course, but that isn’t touching-touching, for eight months and nine days to be precise. Oh God, no! More!’ I sit back. Wow, I hadn’t realised just how bad this had got. ‘Robbie moved out six months and nine days ago, but I hadn’t seen him for weeks before that. Does that count as non-date time? It definitely counts as non-sex time.’
Noah pulls a funny face and shakes his head. ‘Haven’t a clue what you are talking about.’
‘I’ve only ever had one boyfriend: Robbie.’
‘Wow.’ He does a low whistle, and doesn’t sound judgemental, but I ignore him and bat on.
‘And we split up, and now he’s gone.’ I wave my hands to make the point. ‘And I’ve realised I’ve never really done first dates and I just wanted to do it, you know, get it over with. A proper date, not somebody I’ve been set up with, or some weirdo stalker, somebody I picked myself because I liked them! I promised myself I’d do it, and now grunge-faced Gabe has ruined it! Will you stop laughing!’
‘Get it over with?’ He is still chuckling. Which is kind of annoying, but also kind of contagious. ‘Look Rosie, just walk up to a guy you fancy and, well, chat.’
‘I can’t! That’s the point! I walk up to somebody, and, well, freeze and don’t know what to say, and end up asking him to pass me a beer mat or something.’
‘You’re talking to me.’
‘That’s different, you’re not a date. I don’t fancy you.’
‘Not at all?’ He looks a bit put out. ‘Not even a tiny bit?’
‘Not at all, and I’m drunk or I wouldn’t even be talking to you.’
‘Wow, you know how to boost a man’s ego.’
‘You don’t need yours boosting! I can tell. Look,’ I study him carefully, ‘okay, you’re fanciable, right?’
‘But you don’t fancy me?’
‘You’re just not my type, that’s all.’
‘Oh.’
‘You can’t be everybody’s type.’ I pat his hand; I feel like I need