First and Forever (Heartache Duet #2) - Jay McLean Page 0,96
they realized that their feelings for each other hadn’t changed, Michael moved from Florida to North Carolina to be with Dad.
In secret.
Again.
“That ends now,” I tell them both. “And, sure, it’s going to take me a while to get used to...”
“We understand,” says Dad.
I nod. “I just want you to be happy.”
“And what about you, Connor?”
“I’ll get there,” I say, confident.
Even if it takes me fifteen fucking years.
Chapter 40
Connor
It’s incredibly hard to make sense of the days post-Ava. I know I wake up every day and I go to school, and then I come home, and that’s pretty much all there is to my life. Dad sees my struggle, understands it, and he gives me the time and the space I need to grieve. Because that’s exactly what it feels like. Like waking up twice.
Now, I sit on my porch steps watching Trevor load his truck, his girlfriend, Amy, with him. It feels like forever ago when he was the one to watch me do the opposite. I rub my hands across my shorts, drop my head between my shoulders, because only now do I realize that I haven’t just lost the girl I love, or the only woman I ever considered close enough to be a mother, but I’m also losing a friend—the first friend I made when I got here.
Without another thought, I get to my feet and make my way over. The smile I carry is fake, but the words I say are not: “Is it weird if I tell you that I’m going to miss your dumbass?”
Trevor laughs once, shaking his head. Amy rubs his arm, tells him she’s going inside to make sure she’s got everything. Really, she’s giving us a moment alone, and I appreciate it. Trevor watches her leave before turning to me. “Not weird. You’ve kind of been a staple in my life the past few months. Sitting in my chair, eating my cookies…”
This time, my smile is genuine. “Listen, I know Ava’s blocked my number or whatever, but is it cool if—”
“You know my sister, man. She’s going to make me do the same.”
I nod. It’s true. And I hate that it is.
“It’s nothing against you, though,” he assures. “It’s just easier for her this way. She doesn’t need a reminder of everything she loved and left behind.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I mumble. “So, I guess this is goodbye…”
Trevor looks back at his house and then at me. He leans against his truck, his hands in his pockets. He inhales a breath as if preparing his speech. “I told you when we first met that I thought you had a good head on you, and the more I got to know you, the more I believed that you’re destined for great things.” He rubs the back of his neck, his eyes downcast. “Look, I don’t really know what happened between you and Ava, but I do know that you have good in you.” He peers up at me, pokes a finger at my chest, right above my heart. “In here, there’s good. I saw it in the way you treated my sister, in the way you treated Mama Jo. I just… I don’t want you to let what happened here take that away. Keep being good, Connor. And whatever happens, don’t lose sight of your end game, okay?”
I replay his words, let every single one of them sink into me. “Yeah,” I say with a nod. “I won’t.”
He pushes off his truck and offers his hand for a shake. I take it, then grunt when he gets me in a bear hug so tight, I find it hard to breathe. “Don’t go near the house tonight,” he whispers, his mouth right to my ear.
I pull back just so I can look in his eyes—eyes full of clarity.
It’s not a threat or even a suggestion…
It’s a warning.
It’s just after 1 a.m. when I hear the first pop, like a single spark in a bonfire. And then a whoosh. Seconds later, I smell it. The burn, the smoke.
I throw the covers off me and shrug on a T-shirt before going out to the sidewalk. I get there just in time to watch the curtains ignite and then get set ablaze. Leaning against my truck, I feel the heat across my face while my vision fills with shades of ambers and reds. Soon enough, the neighbors file out of their houses, joining me on the street as whispered gossip overpowers the shock of what’s happening.