Firestorm - Ellie Masters Page 0,65

foot.

“Not special like that.” God, not like that. “It’s just…” God, how do I begin?

I suppose the beginning is the best place.

“I grew up with his son. We dated.” I did far more than that.

“Okay? I hear past tense, so you’re not getting ready to tell me you’re seeing someone else.” Asher keeps his tone light, but there’s an edge of concern laced through his words. “After what we did last night, that wouldn’t be cool.”

Yes, about last night.

God, last night was wonderful.

Anything I had with Justin doesn’t hold a candle to what happened between Asher and I.

There is no comparison. With Justin, I felt comfortable. With Asher, I feel as if I’m hanging on a precipice. One wrong move and everything will come crashing down.

But.

If I can hold on.

If I can hang on, all my dreams will come true.

I know it’s corny. It’s corny as hell.

I could say Asher and I are like oil and water. Except, we’re not. We’re more like a match and gasoline, a combustible event ready to set off a firestorm.

Simply put, Asher and I make sense.

Not that I’m minimizing Justin’s life, or his death.

For over half my life, Justin was my everything, but that was only because I never knew what everything could be. I didn’t know I’d been living a lie.

I dip my head, unwilling to look Asher in the eye. “I’m not taken, but I failed to tell you something pretty important.”

“I’m all ears.” Asher’s expression is intense. Open, unapologetic, he’s ready for whatever I throw at him. I don’t deserve this level of trust. I’m going to destroy him with the next words out of my mouth. He deserves more, but we don’t have much time.

“This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I don’t want you to hear it from Prescott instead of me.” I’m stammering and I don’t know how to stop. The words just flow out of me “There’s a reason I was out hiking that day.”

The day he found me.

The day he rescued me.

The day everything changed.

He’s silent and waits for me to continue. It’s hard to break it down and terribly complicated. Asher deserves a more thoughtful conversation.

“I…” Shit, there’s no time for what I want to say. “Shit.”

I’m firing on one cylinder here. Hell, I’m lucky if one cylinder is the best I can give him.

He pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me. “It’s okay, luv. You don’t have to tell me, but if you need to know, it’s not going to change how I feel about you, and I have a feeling it’s not going to change how you feel about me. As long as that’s the truth, you tell me when you’re ready. Okay?”

His words are a pronouncement of truth. Only, I don’t know if I can honor his truth.

“This will break us,” I say.

“You certain about that?”

Yes.

“Where’s your faith?” He says it like it’s nothing; a foregone conclusion.

I have no faith. All I have is the universe’s sick joke: find happiness and the universe will rip it from you in the most horrific way possible.

But I’m not inclined to get into a philosophical argument with Asher.

“My faith is stretched thin. It’s stretched very thin.” I drag my fingers through my hair. “This isn’t fair, to you or to me, but it is what it is. If it means anything to you, it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“Then that’s all that matters.” He gives a chin bump. “It looks like they’re here.”

“Shit.” I’m not ready for this. I grip his hand. “Please, don’t judge me.”

“Never.” He says it as if it’s gospel, but I’m a bit more hesitant. I’m giving him every opportunity to walk away.

Why isn’t he taking it?

I don’t get it. Any sane man would read the red flags I’m raising and take a step back.

Instead, Asher is right by my side.

How the hell do I process this?

Asher cups my chin and turns to face me. “If I can get past you groping my brothers, then we can handle whatever you’re worried about. In the end, it’s just life. As silly and foolish as that is…it’s just life. And if not that, you need to know I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you. Not for the short haul, not for the easy and fun times, but for the hard road and the difficult climbs. I’m committed to you, Evelyn. You’re not ready to know how thoroughly I’m committed, but know that I’m not turning my