Fires of War (War and Deceit #4) - Erin O'Kane Page 0,91

I’ve learned about him is that he’s a dreamer. Whether that’s fighting for a fairer life for his sister in the tribes or helping strangers in an unfamiliar city.

The emotion in his eyes is too much for me, bringing up memories I’m not prepared to relive right now, and I have to look away, unable to deal with the strength of those feelings. Instead, I look out the window as Vaeril holds me closer, humming low in his throat to calm me.

The marketplace is still busy, even though it’s late afternoon, but all activity stops as we travel through. Everyone stares at our carriages while worried whispers follow us. As we travel higher, the quality of the road improves, and the buildings and houses are much nicer and spaced farther apart.

When we reach the upper city, there’s a second set of gates that are guarded, and after a short delay, we’re let through. I watch in shocked disgust as we pass the pristine buildings. It’s like its own town within the city with a separate market, churches, and I even see a park with gardeners pruning the roses. There are no brothels here, or if there are, they are well hidden, and there are no signs of pain or suffering to be seen. I can feel my mates’ anger through our connection, so I know it’s not just me who finds this appalling. Their people are starving and living in squalor, but they’ve built a wall and fenced them off so they don’t have to look at them. So they can live their perfect lives without having to feel any guilt.

We’re almost at the castle now. Taking a deep breath, I focus on keeping all of my bubbling feelings under control as we round a corner and come to yet another set of gates. This one is lined with guards carrying swords, and in the two watch towers next to the gateway stand several archers, their arrows nocked and aimed at the carriages. I don’t think they’re going to shoot at us, just making a show of force, following us with their arrows as we make our way past them. The elves seem tense, but we all know the magic surrounding us will stop an arrow. It’s the unknown that’s scarier right now.

We’re silent as we continue down the long driveway towards the castle. The tall, dark evergreen trees that line the lane only add to the gloomy effect of the black stone. The castle doors open, and several people step out, but from this angle, I can’t see who.

Being back here, compiled with the unknown and the stress of everything, suddenly feels overwhelming, and no matter how hard I try, memories of my time here start to push their way into my mind. The pain as my skin sizzled under the iron as I received my marks. The various beatings and whippings for not completing jobs fast or well enough. Being cornered by a group of guards looking for someone to play with, only to be rescued by an older slave stumbling upon us, enabling me to escape. The night my mother was murdered in front of me and then the king committed genocide by systematically killing all of the remaining slaves.

My mates all reach out to me, all offering their strengths—Grayson with his love and concern, Tor with his vigour and support, Vaeril with his wisdom and passion. Physically, I can feel them all surrounding me too. Eldrin is nearby, don’t ask me how I know, but I can sense him.

“Clarissa,” Eldrin calls, close but not touching. He knows better than to touch me during a flashback. “Remember what I taught you. Ground yourself, you are safe,” he reminds me, going over his lessons from before. But he doesn’t need to. The images of my mother being slaughtered and the slaves being butchered settled something within me. An icy calm washes over me as I open my eyes and see them surrounding me. Meeting each of their gazes, I let them see I’m fully in control of myself, allowing a small smile to grace my lips.

“I’m okay,” I promise, using my hurt and pain as armour. People like the king think my experiences make me weak, but they don’t, and I’m finally beginning to realise they make me strong. “I won’t let him get the better of me.” It’s a vow, not only to them, but to myself. There will be obstacles in that castle that will test