Fire Stones - By Kailin Gow Page 0,33

compassion, of desire. I blushed as I felt his longing; I blushed as I experienced my own. His eyes traveled down to my lips, and he was staring at them with a raw hunger I knew only too well. “I’ll do whatever you want me to, Mac,” he said, his voice so soft, so sweet.

Silence fell upon us. I knew how much he wanted to kiss me; I knew how much I wanted to kiss him back. I wanted him to take the lead, to crush me against his chest – but he waited for my signal, my guidance. He waited for the permission I could never give.

“Mac, I…”

So this was why Vesta had fallen for him, too. He was so kind, so good – and yet capable of such dark passion. Abzu was wrong about Varun – Varun too understood the dark nature of the sea, of its savagery and capacity of chaos. I could see that chaos in his eyes.

“I know, Varun.” I couldn’t move. My whole body was paralyzed by fear and longing. I wanted so badly to say “yes! Yes – kiss me – no!” but something held me back. A feeling of heat in the palm of my hand.

I looked down. It was the stone – one of the Fire Stones – burning and blazing bright. A reminder of my true destiny – of Chance – of the world of Fire no less a part of me than the Water we had just left behind.

“I’ll...uh….I’ll see you around, Varun. I have to go. It’s my mom. You know – she needs this stone to heal her. But – um – thanks! Yeah, really, thanks!” My voice sounded forced and awkward.

Varun’s face fell, but he managed a small smile. “No problem,” he laughed. “Anytime. See you around. Just – uh – tell me how your mom is, okay?”

“Okay,” I was staring at Varun, unable to take my eyes off his soulful expression. I tried my hardest to walk away, but it was as if my legs were made of lead. They resisted my will to leave. At last I forced myself to walk away – but I could still feel his eyes upon my back, upon my shoulders, boring through me, seeing into my soul – seeing the truth: we had Unified; I loved him.

I wanted to run away, to escape his gaze, but I could not. I could only walk, dragging my heels each step of the way, trying in vain to force myself further and further from that look of longing that left me paralyzed, left me reeling. It was harder to breathe now, on land, than it ever had been underwater – Varun was my oxygen, and I needed him to survive.

But surely I felt the same way about Chance, too? That hunger, that burning longing that led us to press up against each other in the corridors after gym class, stealing pleasure from every seized moment, giving ourselves over to the passion that consumed us both. Chance’s euphoric fire or Varun’s calming waters – both filled me with a sense of need, of urgency. How, I asked myself, could I ever be happy with just one; how could I ever be satisfied with anything less than both of them, with both sides of myself: the sweet, beautiful girl that Varun put on a pedestal, and the passionate, fiery woman Chance embraced as his equal? I couldn’t choose. A part of me wanted Varun’s romance; a part of me wanted Chance’s desire. And, like Vesta, I was caught in the middle, struggling against the rage of my longing. It’s not fair! I cried to myself. I’d always had control of my body, of my thoughts. I’d always been able to stay on top of my own feelings. But now the combination of desire and love I felt had started to consume me. I was burning up in the flames – dragged out to sea – I was in love with two men at the same time.

More confused than ever, I trudged home.

Chapter 14

Once Varun had gone, I found it easier to pick up the pace and run. I hurried back to the cottage, bursting through the door, my heart beating fast. “Mom!” I called out, fear flooding my whole body. What if I was too late? What if something had happened to her? “Mom – are you there?”

I stopped in surprise. Antonio Cutter was sitting in my living room. From the exhausted, jaundiced