to handle my responsibilities. I still believe that she made a grave mistake by not accepting financial assistance from me. Sandra was poor. She’d always been poor. I could’ve made her life so much better. At the time, I wasn’t wealthy, but I was comfortable. I had totally distanced myself from my family by then and gone out on my own. Her mother couldn’t help her. When Sandra’s father was still alive, he’d barely make ends meet, and she was continuing the cycle of poverty by not pursuing or furthering her education.
I told her even while we were dating that I would pay for her tuition. Sandra wasn’t exactly academically inclined, but she was quick-witted, fun, beautiful, and had a sense of self-preservation and strength that I admired. She was also very good with her hands, which I found intriguing to say the least. The woman could fix cars. It was rather strange, actually. She loved it, too. She said her father had taught her. By looking at her, she simply didn’t fit the stereotype. Sandy was a petite thing, pretty as a peach. Long, flowing black hair, big beautiful blue eyes. And yet, she wasn’t happy unless she was covered in oil…
Lauren paused to check out Aries’ hands. One of the nails, the pinky, had some dirt beneath it. She looked back at the letter.
And so, the years passed. Every check I sent was returned uncashed. So, I gave up on that. Sandra was quite tenacious. Oddly enough, I liked that about her, too. What she did not know was that she was not going to stop me from ensuring that Aries was at least okay. One year, I had shown up to Aries’ baseball game. He was about ten, I’d say. He was a real natural. Another time, there was a birthday party being held for him at a chicken restaurant. Apparently, it was one of his favorite places. I threw on a baseball cap and some clothing I wore when jogging, and went there. I took a peek at him. It lasted only one minute, and I wished I could have stayed longer but feared being spotted. He was a beautiful little boy with black hair like his mother and a picture-perfect smile.
He looked happy, full of cheer. He tore into his gifts, and he had the most infectious laughter. He was poor, but he laughed as if he were rich. I never forgot that. He was teaching me from afar. I became his student and I silently thanked him for that lesson. Apparently, Sandra spotted me. I received a phone call at my office the following day. She asked if I would be visiting regularly. I said no. She was not happy and forbade me to come around then. I tried to stay away after that, as per Sandra’s wishes, but I couldn’t. I also attended his high school graduation. It was quite crowded. I had no ticket, but I stood in the far back and listened. My son’s name was announced. He walked across the stage with a 3.9 GPA.
I figured he wasn’t doing so bad without me after all. Sandra was struggling the entire time, so I offered college tuition for our son. She did not respond. That is when I discovered that he was in jail. I couldn’t understand what had happened. He went from being one of the most popular kids in high school, academically gifted, to someone who got into scuffles in bars. If he was upset or in pain, he hid it behind a smile. The few times I had seen my son, he had always seemed overjoyed. However, when he was arrested, I backed away from his life. Not because I was upset with him, but because I had believed, and still do, that he was better off without me. I was not particularly fond of children and I didn’t want any child to experience what I had.
My great-grandfather, grandfather, and father had all repeatedly done the same thing to their offspring. Why put anyone through that? What would have made me any different? Nothing. By the time I decided to find out about my son again, he had gotten married and then divorced. I was not aware I had a grandson until fairly recently, and I did not dare go to see Aries or him. However, I did investigate him online. When I saw his picture, I couldn’t believe it. We looked so much alike, even more so