then circle round to fuck your butt. Nobody is a martyr. I’m not in denial, and believe me, I know what I’m doing,” she grumbled. “It’s complicated, and you know it. Plus, asking me to have all the answers before my daughter is even twenty-four hours old is a bit much.”
Reed’s lips thinned. She felt his annoyance. Not with her. He was annoyed with himself. Life in the real world didn’t always make sense. Objectives and outcomes were not always clear.
“You’re right. I apologize.” He paused and then got serious. “How are your finances?”
“Oh, um, I’m okay for now. Haven’t cracked into the bonus dollars you gave Bud. I have enough saved from working and whatnot to cover about six or seven weeks of maternity time.” She did the mental gymnastics, and added, “So figure I’m good until Thanksgiving. After that, it’s either dip into my inheritance or go back to work.”
“And what about school?”
She bit her lip. Then a sigh escaped. “Tell you what. Let me get back to you about that. I have no idea how all this mommy and baby stuff will pan out.”
Nodding, Reed lifted Arianne, kissed her precious baby face, and gazed at his newborn niece with so much love that Summer’s heart skipped a beat.
He carefully lowered her until she was safe and sound in her mommy’s arms.
Summer’s entire being filled with love until the overflow threatened to trigger a flood of tears.
“I didn’t know it was possible to love anyone this much.” She kept saying it in her head and out loud.
He stayed until a nurse shooed him from the room.
“I’ll look in on you tomorrow, okay, twerp? Gotta be back in Barstow without delay.”
“Sir, yes, sir!” She saluted him with a blown kiss.
After he left and the baby was back in her bassinet, she had another learning session with her postpartum nurse. Everything came at her fast and left her little time to process anything. In short order, she had a crash course on how and why squirt bottles for cleansing were her new best friend. Because one dose of bathroom reality wasn’t enough, there were gigantic pads to consider, a weird pair of mesh boy shorts, and stool softeners.
The urge to cry almost took her down, but she fought back and kept her shit together.
Then it was time for the lactation nurse to offer encouragement while Summer went through the steps she’d been shown on how to nurse the baby.
“Have you had contractions since birth?”
Summer nodded. “A few. Yes.”
The nurse winked. “Well, get ready for more of that and stronger too. Breastfeeding triggers oxytocin hormones, which make the uterus contract. It’s a blessing and a curse. Getting things back to normal takes effort.” She patted Summer’s shoulder. “But you’ll get through it.”
Did I have any choice in the matter? Summer thought with uncharacteristic grumpiness. It was all worth it, but she wasn’t going to pretend it was fun.
The parade of nurses, specialists, and doctors finally slowed. According to everyone, she and the baby were in excellent shape.
Exhausted but happy, she cuddled her sweet baby girl and gave her the first thousand of a lifetime of kisses.
In a hushed voice, she spoke lovingly to the angel sleeping in her arms.
“I wish I could see what the future held.”
Adjusting the baby’s soft pink hat, Summer swept her fingers across the softest skin she’d ever felt and began a mother-daughter conversation.
“I know you don’t understand why it’s just you and me right now. I don’t really understand either, but I want you to know one thing. Your daddy is a good man.”
She kissed Ari’s cute nose and sighed.
“You leave this to me, okay, sweetie? Mommy’s on it. When everything settles down, I’m going to track him down and find out why he left.”
The bigger picture came into view. Anxiety flared to angry life inside her. There was more to do than finding Arnie, so Summer had to be careful. The reason she ran to ground and hid away in the teeming San Fernando Valley had not been resolved. The threat remained.
Without saying it out loud and frightening her baby, she promised Arianne that nothing came before her safety and well-being.
As the mama instincts in her DNA exploded to full, fierce life, Summer knew without a second of doubt that if that horrible woman came back and tried to start any shit, the bitch’s makeup better be flameproof.
“Don’t mess with me,” she murmured. “I’m a mother.”