Finding Mr. Write (Business of Love #5) - Ali Parker Page 0,66
am.”
Walker paused with his drink halfway to his lips. “As in, she told someone that you’re W. Parker?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“Oh. Fuck.”
“Yep,” I said again. No other words came to mind.
“How did that happen?”
“She claims it was a spur of the moment, didn’t realize what she was saying, had no ulterior motives situation.”
“And you don’t buy that?”
“Not really. I mean. I don’t know. Maybe? Fuck.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “It’s been an incredibly frustrating afternoon. I guess I just never expected her of all people to be the one who blew it out of the water and slipped up.”
“What, you thought it might be me?”
I scowled at him. “I’m not in the mood for your fuckery.”
He snickered. “You’re never in the mood for my fuckery.”
“True.”
Walker tapped his finger on the side of his glass and watched me. “What’s the most frustrating part about it? That she’s the one who said something?”
“She told her co-worker two weeks ago and never told me.”
“Ah. Because she didn’t think it was a big deal or because she was afraid you’d freak out?”
“I don’t know.”
Walker frowned. “You know, maybe you wouldn’t feel so conflicted if you’d actually talked to her about it. What happened after she told you?”
“I, uh, I asked her to get out of my car and I drove off.”
Walker gave me an even and unreadable stare. “Right. And she’s supposed to be the asshole in this situation?”
“She betrayed me.”
“Not deliberately.”
“We don’t know that.”
Walker shrugged. “True, but based on everything you’ve told me about the girl, she hardly seems like the type to do something like that to you on purpose. People still make honest mistakes these days, you know. She’s not a character in your book. You can’t pull the strings and call the shots. She has to be able to make the wrong choice every now and then. Pick the wrong road.”
“Even if that road exposes me? I have a lot to lose, man. I don’t want the world to know who I am. Hell, I don’t want anyone knowing who I am. She was the first person I’d told besides you and Katie at the El Cartana. I thought she’d take it seriously.”
“Can I be honest with you?”
I stared at Walker. “Of course.”
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You’re kind of being a dick.”
I blinked. That wasn’t what I expected.
Walker chuckled at my bewilderment. “You threw a huge secret on her and expected her to guard it with the same fierceness you do. You said she told this other woman weeks ago? Had you even told her how serious it was to you that you preserve your pen name? Did she have any clue how much you cared?”
“I don’t know.”
“Look man, you know I always have your back, right?”
“Right.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s been easy walking around knowing who you are. I worry all the time that I’m going to blow it. I’d hate to be the reason you lost your anonymity. I’ve been lucky enough that I haven’t ever been in a situation where I might have said something I couldn’t take back. But Briar? I think you owe her the benefit of the doubt.”
This wasn’t going how I thought it would.
He was supposed to tell me I had every reason to be angry. He was supposed to give me permission to push Briar away.
“Why?” I asked. “Why do I owe her anything?”
“Who said anything about owing it to her?”
“You’re losing me.”
Walker sighed and set his drink down. “Look, Briar dropped the ball. I’m with you on that one. But are you going to let this ruin something that’s been really good for you? Man, that doesn’t sit right with me.
“You know how hard it is to meet someone when your identity makes them starstruck. You can relate to that better than most. You’ve never tried to hide your wealth or your talent from a woman and it’s cost you a lot of relationships because somehow you only manage to find the pretty girls who are only with you for your money and your lifestyle.”
“When did this turn into shit on Walker hour?”
“I’m not,” I said.
“We’re talking about you and Briar right now, man. You have to drop this complex you have about your pen name and the public. You’re hiding. And it’s not serving you anymore. It’s keeping you down.”
This conversation had taken a turn I didn’t expect. I drank the last quarter of my beer. “I don’t know how to forgive her