Find Wonder in All Things - By Karen M. Cox Page 0,91

offer to the woman who gave her life. She reached out and grasped her mother’s hand. “Mama, listen. I’ve thought a lot about this over the years — about whether I made a mistake all those years ago. And do you know what I’ve determined?”

“What?”

“I’ve determined that I’ll never know the answer to that question, and I have to accept that. If I had gone with James the first time he asked me, there’s no guarantee that things would have turned out well. Maybe they would have. I’d like to think that we were meant for each other and would have found a way to make a good life together no matter the circumstances, but I know in my heart of hearts that timing might have played a much bigger role in this than I could ever have imagined, for both of us.”

Her mother looked at her and waited for her to continue.

“Ideally, people meet someone they can love all their lives at a time when they’re ready to make that commitment — like James’s sister Susan and her husband did. Sometimes that someone has been there all along, and then one day both people wake up and realize that they want to be together — like Stuart and Virginia. But sometimes, I think there must be a mismatch between finding the person you love and the time in your life when you find him, and I think that’s what happened with James and me. We both made mistakes. If he had been more patient, or if I had been less scared, we might have been able to work around that mismatch all those years ago. But then, he wouldn’t be who he is now, and I wouldn’t be who I am. And now I think we can be really happy together, so how can I argue with that?”

Mrs. Elliot gave her daughter a thin, watery smile. Laurel kissed her cheek.

“You know Daddy’s favorite saying — Find wonder in all things, no matter how pedestrian? I used to think that meant we should notice and celebrate even the smallest details of our lives, but now I see it another way. Now, I believe it means that all those ordinary things are wonderful — even the sad ones and the mistakes — because, no matter how we perceive them at the time, they all come together and serve a purpose in the end. Life is an intricate, magnificent orchestra, and each event — big and small — has a part in it. We have to listen for opportunities to be happy. But it isn’t enough just to listen, we also have to seize them when they present themselves, and it’s time for me to do that now.

“I don’t blame you, Mama, for these years that I was without James. I don’t blame him, and I don’t blame myself. I know I had to learn to reach for happiness. At eighteen, I wasn’t wise enough to discern that, but now I am wiser, and now I choose out of strength and love — not out of fear of the unknown. Now I have a chance at the life I might never have had otherwise. Do you understand at all?”

Mrs. Elliot smiled a sad smile. “I think so, but mostly, I’m just grateful that you forgive me. Perhaps my life wasn’t a complete failure after all if I have a wise, strong daughter like you.”

Laurel reached over and hugged her mother. “I don’t pretend to understand what it is you go through day after day, but Mama, I really do believe that no life is a failure.”

Her mother drew back, a flat look descending like a curtain over her face. “I’m so discombobulated today. Maybe I’m just tired. I guess I should rest a little more.” And in the span of a moment, her mother’s spirit was gone, buried beneath the years of chronic depression from which Laurel wasn’t sure she would ever emerge.

Chapter 26

Laurel drove into town to see Virginia and Stuart the next evening. She had thought long and hard about it all the way home from Asheville and decided it was time to approach James herself. He had come to her twice now, once to the lake and once to her art show, and that had to mean something. Besides, it was getting annoying — the way he appeared out of the blue and then ran off just as suddenly, leaving her confused and without an easy way to find