enjoy him now, in the moment. Remember that he wasn’t built for long-term relationships. Think of him as simply a friend…or better still…a friend with benefits…and save entanglements of the heart for those who could potentially stick it out. Theirs was to be nothing more than a mutually beneficial relationship. He was helping her. She was helping him. That would suffice.
So she tried to rest a moment, wrapped in his warmth. She ran her fingers up and down his arms, felt his muscles rippling under her fingertips as he periodically squeezed her close. While this was a totally foreign experience, it also felt welcome in an unexpected way. Her body felt heavy and comfortable. It would have been so easy for her to drift off, to let her mind go blank, but she just couldn’t. Something in her couldn’t allow that, couldn’t let her rest and grow accustomed to an experience she might never get to repeat. She would end up no better off than her sister, thinking and dreaming about an impossible future, nursing a hurt, and suffering the shame.
Staring at his face in the darkened room, she reached out, cupped his face in her hand. Sighing, her decision made, she slid slowly out from under his arms, slipped her legs out through the enclosure his own made. Then with one lingering look, she passed through the bathroom back into the safety of the top bunk. Though she scooted into the corner as best she could, it didn’t feel nearly as cozy as she remembered it. With a frown on her face, she finally fell asleep.
Bereft. He never understood what that word meant. The minute he woke up alone, however, it was the first thought that came to mind. Adam felt bereft without Cammie there. She was supposed to be here. He went to sleep with her, locked in, and somehow she was now gone. Hopping from the bed, he rushed to the bathroom and walked through to his old room. While he knew that she wouldn’t make a very big lump on the top bunk, there was no lump at all. Had she stayed with him all night and then just left first thing in the morning? Judging by the bed, the way the mattress was still slightly warm, that wasn’t the case. They had slept apart despite all his efforts to the contrary. He returned to the bathroom, flipped on the lights, shut the door, and decided to take a shower. Before Cammie, he took showers to get clean. Ever since Cammie, his showers had been multipurpose. He found he was always trying to get clean and recover from her closeness. A nice hot shower would make a world of difference.
By the time he reached the kitchen, he found Haley, Sam, and Cammie deep in discussion. “What size wedding do you think you would like to have?” He heard Cammie ask as he walked through the door. He shouldn’t have been surprised to discover that she was taking notes.
“Morning,” he commented as he walked directly to the coffee pot. “Working already this morning? I thought you’d still be in bed.” He stared at her, willing her to meet his eyes, but she clearly had decided to keep that discussion private. “How’s the cocktail party coming? Our guests will start arriving around 7pm. Need my help with setting up?” He knew he was being pushy, but he was desperate to spend more time with her and he could actually feel his opportunities slipping away.
“Well,” Haley said when Cammie didn’t answer, “I’d like to keep it small, intimate, no more than say…one hundred guests.”
“Wow, that is small for a society wedding, but oh so much more manageable.” She smiled as she typed more into her phone. “Any color scheme or theme you may have in mind?” She asked these questions like she had been doing this her entire life, not like someone who had just recently started her own business.
“Seriously? Do people know this information when they are just in the beginning wedding planning stages?” Haley laughed nervously.
“Actually, there are some women who spend their entire lives planning their wedding. They are just waiting to find the guy to stick the ring on their finger, then they are off and running.” Cammie leaned in conspiratorially. “I’m glad you aren’t one of those.”
The discussion soon turned to food and Adam, seeing he was simply in the way, left the room and headed to his favorite spot in the great room,