Your job is you. When you're walking down the slreet, that beautiful tree is you. That blooming rose is you."
Win said, "That dirty commode at the bus terminal."
Myron nodded. "You."
"You see the boss, the leader, the breadwinner, the successful, fulfilled person. That person is you. No one can lead you because the leader is you. You stand in front of your opponent, and you know you can win because you are your opponent. And you know how to beat you. Remember you are your opponent. Your opponent is you."
Win frowned. "But don't you know how to beat you too?"
"It's a paradox," Myron agreed.
"You fear the unknown," Sawyer Wells ranted. "You fear success. You fear taking chances. But now you know that the unknown is you. Success is you. Taking chances is you. You don't fear you, do you?"
Win frowned.
"Listen to Mozart. Take long walks. Ask yourself what you did today. Do that every night. Before you go to sleep, ask yourself if the world is better because of you. After all, it's your world. You are the world."
Win said, "If he breaks into a rendition of 'We Are the World,' I'm using my gun."
"But you are your gun," Myron countered.
"And he is my gun too."
"Right."
Win considered that. "So if he is my gun and my gun kills him, it's a suicide."
"Take responsibility for your actions," Wells said. "That's one of the Wells Rules for Wellness. Take responsibility. Cher once said, 'Excuses won't lift your butt, 'kay?' Listen to that. Believe that with all your heart."
The man was quoting Cher. The crowd was nodding. There is no God.
"Confess something about yourself to a friend-something awful, something you'd never want anyone to know. You'll feel better. You'll still see that you're worthy of love. And since your friend is you, you are really just telling yourself. Have an interest in everything. Thirst for knowledge. That's another rule. Remember that it's all about you. When you learn about other things, you are actually learning about yourself. Get to know you better."
Win looked at Myron, his face pained.
"Let's wait outside," Myron said.
But luck was with them. Two sentences later Sawyer Wells was done. The crowd went ballistic. They stood, they applauded, they hooted like an old Arsenio Hall audience.
Win shook his head. "Four hundred dollars a pop."
"That what this thing costs?"
"He is your money."
People approached the stage, stretching their hands toward the heavens in the vain hope that Sawyer Wells might reach out and touch them. Myron and Win watched. The table with the Wells paraphernalia was swarmed now like rotting fruit with buzzing flies.
"The citified version of a tent revival," Win noted.
Myron nodded.
Eventually Sawyer Wells waved and ran offstage. The crowd continued to cheer and purchase. Myron half expected a voice-over to announce that Elvis had left the building. Win and Myron swam through the crowd.
"Come," Win said. "I have backstage passes."
"Please tell me you're joking."
He wasn't. They actually said "Backstage Pass" on them. A plainclothes security guard scowled at them and scrutinized the passes as if they were the Zapruder film. Satisfied, he let them past the velvet rope. Yep, velvet rope. Sawyer Wells spotted Win and bounced toward them.
"So glad you could come, Win!" He turned to Myron and stuck out his hand. "Hi, I'm Sawyer Wells."
Myron shook it. "Myron Bolitar."
Sawyer's smile flickered but stayed on. "Nice to meet you, Myron."
Myron decided to try a frontal assault. "Why did you fix Clu Haid's drug test so it would appear he was taking heroin?"
The smile was still there, but it wasn't sitting right. "Pardon?"
"Clu Haid. The name ring a bell?"
"Of course. As I told Win yesterday, I worked very hard with him."
"Worked how?"
"To keep him off drugs. I have an extensive background as a drug counselor. That's how I was trained. To help addicts."
"Not so different from what you're doing now," Myron said.
"Pardon?"
"People with addictive personalities need an addiction. If it's not booze or drugs, maybe it's religion or self-help mumbo jumbo. They're simply swapping addictions; we hope to one less damaging."
Sawyer Wells overnodded. "That's a really interesting viewpoint, Myron."
"Gee, thanks, Sawyer."
"I learned much about human frailty, about our lack of self-esteem, from addicts like Clu Haid. As I said, I worked very hard with him. His failure hurt me greatly."
Win said, "Because it was your failure."
"Pardon?"
"You are everything, and everything is you," Win said. "You are Clu Haid. He failed, ergo you failed."
Sawyer Wells maintained the smile. But it was different when he looked at Win. His gestures were tighter too,