to text my driver and tell him I wouldn’t need a ride today.
“Shit.”
The guys stare at me as I dig through my bag while we take our place in line. I pull it out and press the button to turn it back on, and Grey jerks his chin toward my cell.
“Why’s your phone off?”
I lean in, resting my head on his chest as a cool breeze cuts by, billowing my school skirt and causing me to shiver. He moves to take off his sweater, but I shake my head.
“You guys were so obnoxious texting me this afternoon that I had to turn it off during art studies.”
They look at each other, suspicion on their faces as the screen comes to life, but before I can check anything, Grey swipes the phone right out of my hand. My head shoots up, and I turn my body toward him.
“What are you doing? Give me my phone.”
Liam locks his arms around me, making it impossible for me to take it back and also making me laugh when he bites at my cheek.
“Secrets aren’t allowed, Cherry. Fess up. Who’s texting our girl? Because it sure as hell wasn’t us.”
As soon as he says it, my stomach drops. If they weren’t texting me like crazy people, it can only be one other person. Oh fuck. Please don’t make this a moment where I have to explain my entire life story.
All the humor leaves Grey’s face as he begins reading the messages on my phone, and I instantly want to disappear. I should try to grab the phone, but I don’t. Instead, I sink further into Liam’s hold. Until Grey looks up—then I want to run away. I despise the look behind his eyes.
Sympathy. He feels bad for me.
“Your mom,” Grey offers, handing me back the phone, just as I snatch it from him, breaking away from Liam.
I look down, scrolling over message after angry message, stopping to read the last few novels she texted.
Mom: I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this kind of treatment, but I’m surprised that you would be so willing to shut me out. After all you’ve done.
Mom: You’re selfish and Dr. Esteban says I don’t need toxicity in my life. I’m happy you’ve decided to turn your back on me, now I won’t feel bad doing the same.
Mom: I will make your life a living hell if you don’t get me what I want. I deserve it. I put up with you for seventeen years too long…and I think we can agree that you never made it easy. You never once thought about me. Maybe you could try and show me love. Ask for the Boulders, Donovan. I’m tired of waiting. If you love me, you’d ask.
Liam puts his chin on my shoulder, since he’s been reading over my shoulder. “I hate her for you, Van. What a bitch.”
I smile up, feeling the stinging of embarrassment in my eyes, and wave a hand in the air. “I don’t even know who that is…must be a wrong number.”
Liam twists his face and kisses my cheek, hard, pressing it in, before rising to his full height, accepting my humor by not pushing.
“Cherry.”
I don’t look up at Grey. If I do, I might crack. He’s my truth serum, always has been, but I don’t want him to see the hurt because he’ll want to dive in until he reaches the bottom. No explorations today.
Grey’s finger comes under my chin and forces my eyes to his. What scares me most about this moment isn’t that I’m going to tell him what he wants to hear. It’s that I want to. That I need to. I want to seek out a safe space in him. I want to let him in, but if I do, I’m afraid he may root himself inside and never leave.
“What do you want me to say? My mother is a bitch, but I’ve given her more reasons to hate me than she even realizes. The irony is it’s my inability to cater to her whims that she dislikes me for the most. It’s like life’s cruel joke—she despises me for something I can’t control or fix.”
“It’s her loss.”
I wipe a hand quickly under my eye, removing any evidence that I care, as I stay locked on him. “Is it? You don’t really know, now do you?”
He doesn’t because I won’t tell him all the reasons she has not to love me.
“I know enough. Only a monster abandons their young.”