I was scared of our enemies. Actually being hurt by one of them put shit into perspective.
“Why not?”
“She won’t make you bleed. Will just lash you with that tongue. I can survive that.” My mom had a barbed tongue too. Not purposely cruel, but just one of those mothers who knew what was what and wouldn’t let you get away with shit.
Lena reminded me of her in some ways. It was probably why I liked her. Even if she was a pain in the ass that managed her kitchen like it was a Nazi stronghold.
“Didn’t you see Louisa being shot down by Lena?” As soon as she asked the question, Mary-Ellen smacked her hand to her mouth. “God, Aoife, I’m so sorry.”
I stared at her, bewildered. “For what? She didn’t bitch at me—”
“Shot down,” Mary-Ellen repeated, then wafted the potato peeler at me. “I’m so sorry.”
Snorting, I told her, “Takes more than that to offend me.” I wasn’t putting a brave face, I was just… I guess my perspective was different than before.
Almost dying did that to a person.
You could be sensitive about it, or you could just get the fuck on with it. I was of the latter school of thought. Another reason I think Lena liked me. Her disrespect was evident for weak women.
Of course, I kept my weak moments to myself. When I was lonely and wondering what the hell I’d done by tying myself to a man whose business necessitated a hotel as a safe house, I’d cry myself to sleep. But mostly, it was out of self-pity and Lena wasn’t the only one who abhorred that.
I had plenty to count my blessings over, and I needed to focus on that.
“Why did she shoot Louisa down?” I inquired, curious.
“She was crying. Said she missed Conrad.”
Mary-Ellen, though newly married, had been with Stephen a while so she knew everyone here. I, on the other hand, barely knew half the names, and it was hard to make friends when Lena watched over me like a hawk.
“So? She’s allowed to miss him, isn’t she?”
Mary-Ellen winced. “Louisa’s impetuous.”
As well as young. She looked about fifteen, but as much illegal shit as the Five Points handled, illegal marriages weren’t one of them. She had to be eighteen, just acted like an eight year old.
I clucked my tongue. “What did she do?”
“Said she was going to run away.”
“Bet Lena liked that.” I snorted, just imagining what Lena’s response would be.
“She slapped her, told her to get on with it, and that if she was missing him so much, that meant she was bored, and she gave Louisa a ton of chores.”
Lena would have made a great Mother Superior.
I had to hide my smile because I couldn’t easily imagine Lena in a habit, even if she had the strictness down pat.
“What are you two gossiping about?” the woman in question asked, as she took a seat beside me.
My brows quirked at the sight of the coffee jug and three empty mugs in her hands. When she served us, then took a deep sip of her own, I eyed her cautiously.
“What’s wrong?”
She scowled at me. “Nothing’s wrong. Well, apart from the fact you two are so bloody slow I’m going to have to help you out.”
I snorted. “You’re all heart.”
“What were you talking about, anyway?”
Because I wanted to see her reaction, I told her, “Phone sex.”
Naturally, she wasn’t surprised. Even if Mary-Ellen looked like she wanted the floor to open and swallow her whole, Lena’s mouth quirked in a wicked smile.
“The only way to get through lockdown.”
Laughing, I toasted my coffee with her. “I wish I was so lucky. Damn bullet.”
She studied me over her mug. “Have the doctors mentioned when you can have sex again?”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I’m sure Finn’s ready for a family of his own.”
Considering on the morning of the wedding he’d asked me to stop taking the pill, she was right on the money.
“I’m sure he is. I’m the one who isn’t ready.” I cocked a brow at her when she scowled. “I’ve just had emergency surgery, Lena. I’m not ready to give birth any time soon.”
She dipped her chin. “You want children though?”
“Would it matter if I didn’t?” For some reason, her concern irked me.
I knew she considered herself Finn’s mother, but what right did she have to ask me if I wanted kids or not? That was between my husband and me, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to get knocked up after having gone through what I