Filthy English (English #2) - Ilsa Madden-Mills Page 0,82
What’s up?” His voice boomed, and I bit back a smile. If he didn’t keep it down, the librarians would come hush us.
“Good,” I said, my eyes on Dax as we exchanged pleasantries.
He’d raised his head up, along with two girls I recognized as little sisters, but not the bitchy ones. In fact, I’d had a class with one of them and she was kinda nice and brilliant to boot. Jealousy ate at me. I clutched my book bag to hang on and ground myself.
I looked at Dax. His hair was tousled, the strands a mess as if he raked his hands through it a dozen times. “I just wanted to say hi. I didn’t hear you come in last night.”
He leaned back in his chair. Cool. “Stayed at the frat. You know how it is. Lots going on.”
“Oh, a party?” I asked, trying to appear unconcerned.
“Yeah. Off the chain. You should have been there.”
Axel shot him a quick look, as if surprised by his answer.
So did the little sisters. They shrugged and went back to writing.
“I wasn’t invited,” I stated.
Dax shrugged. “Just Taus—no one else.”
Oh.
A few beats of silence went by, and slowly but surely I realized it was becoming weird—me standing here and no one talking.
Axel jumped in. “We, uh, we’re studying for a psych class. Already got a term paper assignment. Trying to get a jump on things before things get crazy.”
“Oh, that’s smart,” I said, my eyes searching for something to land on. Anything except Dax. He didn’t want me here.
Everyone stared at me expectantly. Waiting.
Was it my turn to talk?
No. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t pretend with him anymore. Not now.
Giving up, I swallowed, said a hasty goodbye, and fled.
Reaching the end of the hall, I turned the corner and leaned against a wall of books, feeling out of breath for no good reason.
Dax was breaking my heart. He was beautiful and broken, not able to see what I could see. And just glimpsing him at a table with other girls, obviously studying, made me bonkers. It was freshman year all over again, only magnified by a million.
Steadying myself, I walked downstairs, found Lulu, and dropped down next to her with a groan.
She flicked her eyes up at me from over a magazine. “What’s eating you? I thought you loved it upstairs with all the musty old books.”
“Dax is up there.”
“And this is a problem?”
“He didn’t come home last night. He had a party at the frat.”
She grimaced. “That’s what he does, Remi. You knew this about him a long time ago.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
I fiddled with my phone. “Hey, you wanna get out of here? Maybe get a beer at Cadillac’s.”
Her eyebrows went sky high. “On a Tuesday? It’ll be dead.”
“Not the first week of school. Come on. I need to blow off some steam.”
She slapped down the magazine. “As long as there’s no tequila involved, I’m down with that.”
On Wednesday, I woke up with a hangover.
I took a long shower, praying the hot water would work its magic on me.
Coming downstairs, I plodded into the kitchen wearing my nightdress. Nothing had changed. No glasses in the sink. No dishes on the counter. I peeked in his bedroom and the bed was still made. No evidence that I had a roommate.
Dax showed up for zoology, but instead of taking the seat next to me like he had on Monday, he aimed for the middle next to a couple of pretty girls. He sent me a polite nod, and I wanted to scream at him.
He bolted from class when the professor dismissed us, and I followed him out in the hall. “Dax?”
He halted and turned to face me. “Hey.”
His casual words didn’t fool me. The barrier he carried to protect himself was already in place.
“You haven’t been home much.”
Concern etched his face and he came in closer. “You’re not scared there alone are you?”
“No.” I nibbled my thumbnail.
“What’s wrong?” His eyes searched mine.
“I miss you.” I said the words honestly, not caring.
He whitened. “Please don’t say that. You can’t.”
Blood left my face, and I closed my eyes, digging deep to find a tiny piece of strength to walk away from him.
Why are you still standing here, Remi?
Don’t you have any pride?
How much will it take for you to leave him alone?
The answer burned in my head—so simple and easy, like beautiful things usually are. I loved him.
There are no coincidences in life, only fate pushing you toward one another.